On the Writing Process and Overcoming Senioritis

 

My youngest is now a senior in high school, and I plan on enjoying every second of it! I confess, I experienced a sort of midlife crisis last year, as I realized my children soon will have all flown the nest. For a few months, I felt weighed down by an undefined sadness. I missed the days when my children needed me - even while remembering those moments when I had felt overwhelmed by the sense of always being needed.

I started to panic about the fact that I have yet to publish a novel – something I would like to do before she goes to college. A children’s fantasy novel I had been working on for seven years had been rejected shortly after my fiftieth birthday. I received positive feedback, but the nature of the changes the editor was asking for would require going back to the drawing board, something I just did not have the heart to do at the time. So, I decided to shelve it for a while and work on some short stories. Around the new year, a sudden sense of urgency welled up within me. I felt as if, if I failed to publish a book, I would literally die.

“I know God gave me a gift of writing, and I know I was called to write ‘Theresa and the Diamond Castle’ (inspired by St. Therese’s ‘Interior Castle’), I said to a friend. “So why would he have me work on it for seven years, if it wasn’t meant to go out into the world?”

She replied, “Maybe it’s all about the process.” Yes, I do believe the process is what life is all about, but I still feel that my light should be up on a hill, not covered by a bushel.

After a few children’s book manuscripts were rejected, I decided to try my hand at a romance novel. I found a specific ‘inspirational romance’ line that asked for Christian characters, preferably living in a small town, with a focus on the development of the couple’s relationship. This seemed like the perfect exercise following the rejection of Theresa. You see, I had written that book without an outline, following wherever my mind took me, so that once I had written 45,000 words, it became extremely cumbersome to weave together into one cohesive narrative.

Romance is written following a specific format of ‘beats’: boy meets girl, there are obstacles to their relationship, they overcome them, and the book ends with the promise of a happily-ever-after. I started to outline the book, then wrote the first few chapters. I soon found that my heroine came alive to me – like when I had been writing about Theresa, I thought of her day and night. Interestingly, as her sister’s character developed, I started to think about a future romance centered on her. I had calculated that by writing 500 words per day, I could have the book finished within three months. By February, I was indeed half done, but then life got in the way. Family visited. My son graduated college and moved to Texas. There were family illnesses. I had to let the book go until June.

In August, I was almost done, when I found two critique partners. Chapter by chapter, we helped each other to fine tune our manuscripts. But this process was too slow for me. I had set my birthday as my deadline, and I wanted to get onto the next book. I submitted the book and started on the next one.

As the publisher asked for a website, I gave them this blog address, then realized how long it had been since my last post. Adding some more content was another task to add onto my growing list.

Within a week of my submission, I received a rejection – with positive feedback. It is a plot problem, and it is something I can fix without fundamentally changing my characters. With my critique partners’ help, I am feeling optimistic that I will have a much-improved manuscript to submit by Christmas.

My days have been flying by. My daughter leaves for school, and I am busy writing, exercising, doing stuff around the house, then all of a sudden, she is home. Busy with my own endeavors, I can enjoy the time she wants to spend with me, without smothering her. I watch with pleasure as she enjoys her senior year. I look forward to what comes next for her – and for me and my husband. I truly do not know what comes next, but there are dreams, possibilities, options.

Echoing Ecclesiastes, my father used to say that we all experience different seasons throughout our lives. At the time, I was in the heart of motherhood, homeschooling three little ones with another on the way, and every moment was devoted to caring for them. Like summer cooling into fall, that season is drawing to its close. The leaves are falling off the trees, but the spring will bring new ones, with blossoms. In the meantime, I can enjoy the beautiful transformation as the leaves change color and drift away, some closer and some farther, as the wind may blow.

Ecclesiastes 3, selected verses (New American Standard Bible)

3 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every matter under heaven—

9 What benefit is there for the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the task which God has given the sons of mankind with which to occupy themselves.

11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, without the possibility that mankind will find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; 13 moreover, that every person who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—this is the gift of God.

22 I have seen that nothing is better than when a person is happy in his activities, for that is his lot. For who will bring him to see what will occur after him?

Downstyle makes headlines easier to read

As part of my training for my new job with the Examiner, I have been instructed to use Associate Press Downstyle for my headlines. They say this style is being adopted increasingly in reporting because it is easier to read. Only the first letter of a title, proper names, and letters after punctuation are capitalized. Capitalization breaks up the flow of reading when the eye has to go up and down.

Headlines are also supposed to say straight-out what the article is about. This takes away some of the writer’s ability to come up with clever titles, but makes it easier to locate an article using a search engine, and also easier for the reader to know which articles to read.

One of the things I love about blogging is that no one can tell me what to write about, or how to write it. So sometimes I will use downstyle, and sometimes I will use classic titling.

My First Paying Writing Job

Woman Writing a Letter

I can now officially call myself a Freelance Writer! I have a new, paying, column at Examiner.com that will be up and running in a week or two. I will announce it here as soon as it is live. My title is Long Island Motherhood Examiner, and I can write about anything pertaining to motherhood on Long Island, which to me is a pretty large umbrella topic. I am really excited and will be hard at work on my first column over the weekend.

What Not to Write About

The Letter

If we have a conscience, we mom writers have so much we feel can’t write about that it is amazing we are able to write at all!

When I sit down to write, there is a whole host of people sitting before me in my mind, judging what I am thinking about putting down in black and white. Some of them are shaking their heads, saying, “No, you can’t write about that, Elizabeth.”

Family – while most of us write about our families, every family has its own unwritten rules about what will be kept private. When one is consumed with a problem that falls into the “private” domain, it can become almost impossible to write! And so much of our experience falls under the family domain. It’s hard to talk about your own childhood without admitting that your family isn’t perfect.

Friends – If we are writing something flattering, we usually don’t have any qualms about mentioning a friend by name. However, sometimes I want to touch on an experience that has to do with a friend and I wonder, will she mind if I talk about this?

Former Friends – I have no negative feelings toward people classified as “former friends”. I still pray for them. If the relationship was not meant to continue, there was probably a good reason for that. Sometimes I wonder if they ever read my blog, and I think about the topics they were sensitive about. If they were touchy about those subjects, others will be too. This helps me to speak about those things in a more sensitive fashion.

Teachers and Other Moms at School – I often write about things that affect me and my children at the school they attend. While I never mention the name of the school and don’t even know if anyone there knows I write a blog, I sometimes wonder how they would feel about some general criticisms I have made of the school. If people seem stand-offish with me, I ask myself if it’s possible they read about, and recognized, themselves in my blog.

God – I always hope that what I am writing is pleasing to God. He gave me the give of writing and I want to use it to glorify Him.

Last but not least: Ourselves – Whenever we write, we bare our souls. To what degree are we able to do that?

So, when I sit down to write, how do I keep all these voices at bay? I don’t. Every post is an act of courage. When I finally hit “Publish”, or put a manuscript in the mailbox, I feel like I can breath again.

Reading, to Write

I sit by my electric fireplace, reading Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables, with the encouragement of my new hard-core book club. At page 100, at the end of Book II of the section entitled “Fantine”, I calculate with satisfaction: I am one-twelfth through; I can do this! People might wonder why I would impose a 1,260-page novel on myself, when free time is so hard to come by, and a list of incomplete writing projects sits on my computer.

Since I was little, I always had a love for the classics. Maybe it was my dad’s nostalgia over the list of titles he had to read over the summer while attending a private boys’ prep school in Brooklyn. It was he who egged me on until I “had” to read Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, The Old Man by the Sea, and Moby Dick. An athlete in my tenth grade math class used to call me “Book Girl” because I always walked in with my nose in the book Gone with the Wind. (A few times, I even cried.)

One of my English teachers thought he could encourage more kids to love reading if he introduced more modern titles, such as Paul Zindell’s The Pig Man. I soon found that I had no interest in anything written in my current century. I would rather be lost in a different time and place, where people wore beautiful clothing and spoke with “thee’s” and “thou’s”.

I loved the complexity of traditional classic literature. Give me a long, descriptive paragraph from any of Jane Austen’s works that defies diagraphing: full of colons, semi-colons, commas, and parentheses. I love it when I have to go back and re-read a sentence to dissect the treasures buried within. Or, as in my reading of Victor Hugo’s Ninety-Three, when I have to sit with a huge dictionary by my side, looking up words of French origin that are no longer in use.

I read to challenge my mind, not to pass the time. I read to write like the greats, not to be a best-seller. I read to learn about another time, that I might better understand my own. I read to inspire, by example, my children to read. I read because that’s what you’re supposed to do when seated by an electric fireplace, while the children play in the snow.

This post was also published on the blog for Mom Writer’s Literary Magazine.

People who enjoy reading great novels and want to take literature classes may look into online education classes.

Not-So-Divine Moments

From time to time I’ll make a comment that make my husband remark, “Would you put that on your blog?”

We all have moments when we forget to be thankful for what we have. That is one of the reasons I write this blog: to remind myself – and others – of the gifts we have been given.

Thank you again for the support of my readers. I welcome any and all of your comments. A blessed Epiphany to you and your families!

Picture above painted by Hans Multscher, 1467, The Adoration of the Magi

Mental Clutter

Sherlock Holmes, the character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, expressed an interesting view of the memory. Dr. Watson wanted to know how the detective could remember such peculiar details and make the intricate connections among them. He explained that the brain was like an attic. It only has so much room to store things. If any bit of information had nothing to do with his work, he would not let it in. If a bit turned out to be “clutter”, he had to throw it out to make room for new information.

From what I learned about the brain in my psychology classes, it seems to have an endless capacity for storing information. However, I have always thought this comparison of the brain to an attic space to be quite useful. If I can find a use for some new information, I invite it in. Otherwise, I block it out.

Friends are continually amazed that I could have passed the same stores hundreds of times without noticing them. Why would I? There are only several stores on the main route through town that have any use for me: the food store, Wal-mart, the library, Home Depot, the chocolate store, the post office, and the gas station. If I need a specialty store, I will look in the yellow pages to locate it. This enables me to go on my way without the distractions of extraneous buildings that are not on my list of errands.

I had been in one particular friend’s house a dozen times before I noticed the huge widescreen television that occupied a large portion of the den. I had to see it because we were watching a movie on it! “Wow, that’s some big TV you have here,” I commented. “How could you miss this monstrosity?” she questioned. I was there to see her, not her t.v.; therefore it didn’t register.

I picked up a copy of the classic "On Writing Well" by William Zinsser and have been happily devouring its advice. There is a whole chapter devoted to "clutter"! What he means by that is verbal clutter - extra words that don't add any meaning to one’s writing. But he also, in his 30-year anniversary edition, adds the idea of psychological clutter, stressing the burden of extraneous thoughts on trying to get clean ideas out on paper.

This suddenly put in perspective something a writing friend had said about her clutter preventing her from being creative. As simple as I have tried to keep my mental processes, my physical attic is full. So are all my closets and drawers. I am one of those who “boxes” her clutter and puts it on a top shelf of a closet, under the bed, or in the attic.

As I open up a box, a flood of memories comes pouring out, as a droplet of gas enclosed in a small space will spread out to fill a whole room. Like the physical box of stuff, the memories associated with them have been compartmentalized into a small portion of my brain. I might think my brain is de-cluttered, but really I just have put the clutter away to be dealt with later. As I deal with each thing, I can process the idea that goes with it. My daily de-cluttering time thus has become part of my mental writing time, because it helps de-clutter me spiritually.

I have been imagining my house completely streamlined, with only a few beautiful things in sight, fitting the form and function of each room. Would such a house be boring? Would such a person be boring?

For Sherlock Holmes Fans:

48 of the 60 stories in The Canon of stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle are out of copyright and can be downloaded in text format at 221 Baker Street.org

Sherlock Holmes, the movie, will be released in 2009.

To Be A Woman of Leisure

A famous female writer once wrote something that I never forgot. I believe it may have been Virginia Wolf, but I was unable to find it in my thesaurus of quotations. She said that in order for a woman to be a successful writer, she had to be a woman of leisure.

In other words, she needed to have the time to write.

As I go about my daily business, my head is springing with ideas about things I want to put on paper. In these hectic first days of summer, I barely have time to sit until after midnight.

Ah, if only I had more time to write!

But then, I wonder, if I had nothing to do, would I have anything to write about?

Painting Above: Mary Cassatt, Woman Reading in a Garden, 1880; Art Institute of Chicago

Irksome Questions and Comments for the Write-at-Home Mom

Q: What do you plan on doing when the kids grow up?
A: More of the same.
More writing.
More cooking.
More gardening.
More home improvement projects.
More pro-life work.
More involvement in my husband’s home business.

All of the above are worthwhile occupations that I currently fill. Sometimes I fail to take credit for all of the roles that I fill because (a) I feel it is immodest and (b) that it should be recognized that “just being a mom” is enough. But on the flip side, socially I sometimes feel pressured to justify my existence as being more than that.

Q: Do you ever feel like your college education has gone to waste?
A: No.
Being better-educated makes one a better citizen, and aids in molding young minds. But this question hurts deeper than that because it implies that one’s own mind is not worth spending time and money to develop. Even if I never wrote for the public, never performed community service, never educated any children, if I chose to use all my spare time on personal endeavors I do not feel it is ever a waste to be well-educated and not be out in the work force.

Comment: Writing is such a nice thing to do in your spare time.
A: Thank you.
This statement is well-meaning maybe, but it comes across as patronizing.
First, I have virtually no spare time.
I write in my head while juggling multi-tasks. I write in notebooks while at baseball games or supervising bathtime. I am lucky if I get ten minutes to turn on the computer once a day, check my emails, and type up an essay to post on my blog.
Second, it implies that my writing is a casual hobby, when a writer is something at the core of my being. It is something I feel compelled to do, an activity as necessary as eating three square meals per day.

I was reminded by a good friend that the religious education classes typically do not teach to “pray for your enemies” as a good coping strategy. I take that to heart not to dwell on the speaker of irksome comments in a negative light but to pray for them. And not in a selfish way (as in “Lord please let them see me in a more respectful manner”), but a selfless and GIVING way (as in “Please bless her today”). Notice I do not say FORgiving for I truly believe they mean no harm.

It is I who am touchy and need to see my work in a way that is glorifying of God and not self. And then it certainly should not irk me no matter what others may think or say.

“If I did despise the cause of my manservant or of my maidservant, when they contended with me, What then shall I do when God riseth up? And when he visiteth, what shall I answer him? Did not he that made me in the womb make him? And did not one fashion us in the womb?”
Job 31:13-15

Ilya Repin. Job and His Friends. 1869. Oil on canvas. The Russian Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia.

Northanger Abbey

Northanger Abbey, by Jane Austen, is not a difficult read. It is filled with humour and tongue-in-cheek commentaries on the art of writing novels.

Catherine Morland, undistinguished in any talents but raised with goodness and integrity, in a family of ten children, accompanies the childless Mr. and Mrs. Allen to Bath in the hopes of finding a suitable mate. She meets the witty and good Henry Tilney, and it is love at first sight. Unfortunately, she falls in with the Thorpes; she becomes best friends with the guileful Isabella and is courted by the odious John, “her friend’s brother and her brother’s friend. Isabella attaches herself to Catherine’s brother, only to break his heart with flirting with Henry’s older brother, Captain Tilney.

Eleonor Tilney, on the other hand, is a true friend, and Catherine enjoys a long vacation getting to know her better at the Tilney’s home at Northanger Abbey. Here she expects to find mystery and romance typical of her favorite horror novels; but her hopes are dashed as she finds the furnishings and peoples of the Abbey are quite modern and normal. She comes away with a better understanding of friendship, and learns to appreciate the beauty of a simple, uncomplicated life. There are few surprises in this story: the typical difficulties of obtaining parental consent to an engagement ensue, with a happy marriage at the end of the novel.

Although published posthumously, Northanger Abbey was actually written in 1797-8 under the title of Susan (not to be confused with Lady Susan, written in 1793-4), revised and sold in 1803 to a publisher who failed to publish it, reconsidered in 1816, and finally published a year later (but dated 1818) together with her true last novel, Persuasion.

In my reading of the text, there seemed to be subtle indications that Austen knew she was in the midst of writing her last novel. I was surprised to find how early in her career she actually began its writing. This leads me to believe that further revisions were made in her final year. (Modern physicians believe she may have suffered from Addison’s disease, the symptoms of which started in 1816.)

The contemporary view of writing, perhaps brought on by the simplicity of Hemingway, seems to be that short and simple is best. I love Austen’s long, complex sentences, in which one phrase builds upon another to make her point. Perhaps she could convey her meaning in fewer words; but if there be beauty in those words, I say we should keep them. To pare down into the fewest words certainly makes things easier for the reader. But some of us who are in love with the English language enjoy the work of getting through a half-page sentence. If we have to re-read it to understand its meaning, the fault lies not in the writer. We come away with an appreciation of her ability to describe most fully a landscape, an emotion, or the cause of someone’s behavior.

In Chapter 5, Austen inserts her strong opinion for a full page-and-a-half, explaining why she allows her heroine to enjoy the reading of novels. “For I will not adopt that ungenerous and impolitic custom, so common with novel-writers, of degrading, by their contemptuous censure, the very performances to the number of which they are themselves adding, joining with their greatest enemies in bestowing the harshest epithets on such works, and scarcely ever permitting them to be read by their own heroine, who, if she accidentally take up a novel, is sure to turn over its insipid pages with disgust.”

Austen obviously held her own profession in the highest esteem. According to her, the well-written novel is a “work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language.” Novelists must support one another, she says. Nevertheless, there are several uncomplimentary references to the works of Ann Radcliffe and Fanny Burney, some of the popular writers of that period. Perhaps she felt that novels would be seen in a better light if more of them were written in her own style.

See my post on Austen's Times.

Humility

“My son, conduct your affairs with humility,
And you will be loved more than a giver of gifts.
Humble yourself the more, the greater you are,
And you will find favor with God.
For great is the power of God;
By the humble he is glorified.”
Sirach 3:17-19

Today’s readings touched me on several levels. (The Gospel spoke of giving up the head-of-the-table seat to someone more important.)

I. The Humility of Motherhood

On this Earth, there is no job more humbling and more elevating than that of Mother. I think of the ten days last April when my older three children took turns with a four-day stomach virus. I was up day and night cleaning up vomit, consoling them, and giving the baby extra breastmilk to boost her immunity. On the opposite side of the spectrum, there was the day my firstborn read me her first book – and I knew I had taught it to her. Or, more recently, the day she confided in me her hopes and fears for the future. Tonight we finished reading aloud a wonderful book to all the children, and I knew I had planted fascinating seeds for thought. (As I write, I just got handed a tooth. Looks like I'll be playing the tooth fairy tonight.)

We honour Mary not for one specific thing she did, but for who she is – the Mother of the Son of God. She humbled herself to receive the gift of motherhood, and for that she is elevated. Everyday we can look to Mary as the ultimate model for who we should be as mothers. We can remember that it is not the great earthly things we do that matter, but that we just be spiritually present to our children.

II. The Humility of Writing

Writers are of an interesting breed, full of subtle ironies. Most of us tend toward introspection. Yet we seek publication, to set our mark on the world. The Christian writer may earnestly work toward getting an important message out to the world. Yet he must ultimately self-promote in order to further that end.

In the movie, “The Singing Nun”, a sister with a guitar, the only vestige left of her family, becomes famous for her beautiful hymns. In the end, realizing that vanity has caught hold of her and kept her from her true ministry, she gives up her guitar completely.

For us, the battle with humility will likely be a lifelong one. We are called upon to use our gifts to help others, yet must be sure the glory goes to our Maker, not ourselves.

III. The Humility of Volunteerism

I have taken a hiatus from volunteering in both church and school, while caring for an infant. I remember those who said, “Volunteering is a thankless job,” and seemed to be put-out by all their efforts. We are called to “do all that we do with a cheerful countenance”. While recognizing that our job is important, we must not feel self-important.

Heavenly Father,
Help me to give of my gifts
Cheerfully,
Humbly,
And in a manner that will always glorify you.
Amen.

Pictured above: “Vanity”, by John George Brown

Blogging and the Creative Writer

What, you may ask, does blogging have to do with the novel you are writing?

There are several reasons a creative writer may start an online journal.

First of all, writing a first novel is a very lengthy and difficult journey. Believe it or not, you have time on your side. Being an unknown, no agent is knocking down your door to complete your next book. You can take as many years as you need to perfect your craft and edit your novel to meet your standards.

During this time, it can be rewarding to be able to complete shorter projects and have them published in print or online. Small successes like this tell you that someone out there believes you deserve to be in print. You can tell people you are a writer and point to your publications as proof.

A web log can accomplish this objective as well as give you immediate feedback from your audience. You can also use your web log to draw attention to your print publications, or put your web page in your “bio” to bring print readers to your blog.

Blogging gets you into writing mode and helps you to hone your writing skills. Prolific writer Leticia Velasquez, whose award-winning blog http://cause-of-our-joy.blogspot.com/ brings awareness to many important issues, says, “My blog keeps my writing in top form,and I am learning to edit myself, which is the hardest thing to do. Not every word I type is a pearl of wisdom!”

The blogosphere is an arena in which writers encourage and inspire one another. When I recently contacted my old homeschooling friend Leticia to send her some information about the abortion-breast cancer link (you can read up on this at the Breast Cancer Prevention Institute website which is bcpinstitute.org ), she (who already was quite aware of this issue) told me about her blogs (yes, she has two!).

That same night, I started my own blog. I sent the link to my sister, Joanna Gerold, also an aspiring writer and new graduate, and she started one too! Hers is about the creative process: http://part-of-something.blogspot.com/

It may not seem like one form of writing, such as the blog, may have anything to do with another, such as the novel. However, I have found that the inspiration for each type of writing runs from one to another. For example, when I am writing in my private journal I tend to have ideas for articles I might want to write for magazines. I jot them in the margin of my journal. Sometimes I have a dream that inspires a short story. These go into my idea notebook, which I keep next to my bed along with my journal. During the day, I constantly have ideas for my blog. When I am done blogging, I often think of new ideas I want to put into my novel. So it warms me up for that mode of work.

Once I get into my fictional world, it is very difficult to bring my back to earth. While I blog and write short essays on the computer, I write my novel long-hand in steno books. In the back of the book, I keep a journal of where I think I am going with a character or plot. Occasionally I have an idea for something else I want to write while in the middle of drafting a new chapter. So I don’t lost this idea, I pause what I am doing and write that down on a new page in the back of the same notebook.

I recently read some advice for writers that I did not agree with at all. (Feel free to discard any advice that runs counter to your own intuition - only you know how you work at your best!) This person said that you should concentrate on one project at a time, so as not to drain your energy from what is most important.

I think that is like saying love should not be spread out among too many people. When parents have more children, their capacity for love grows with the size of their family. Parents of large families have very large hearts! Our writing is like our children in that way. As we nurture one facet, it only helps the others.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
John 1:1

Pictured above are me and my sister, Joanna Gerold, when she came last August to help me with my newborn baby.