Perspective

I finally learned how to keep the scorebook for my children’s softball and baseball games. That is, I got the basics down. My husband explained to me how it is a constant learning process because there are so many intricate rules to a ballgame that it takes a lifetime to fully understand them. Every ballgame he watches on television he says, “There never ceases to be plays that have never happened before.”

During a 20-inning Met game, I sat down with a scorebook and practiced. I had to keep asking my kids to explain what was going on and by the end I thought I had it. Then I tried to keep score at my daughter’s game and messed up the very first inning, after looking up and responding to someone’s question. My husband said it was virtually impossible to score a girls’ softball game because of all the errors that take place. It also goes much faster than a major league game - where you have like five minutes in between batters and replays in between.

I kept practicing and in the process have been given a greater understanding and appreciation of the game. Between scoring and calculating statistics for the league, I now see the game in terms of numbers. If my daughter gets an out going to first but brings in a runner, I can say, “Oh, that was a sacrifice…it’s okay because she brought a runner in.” I now have a grand slam recorded for each of my daughters and look forward to the day my son will hit one.

Finally I was ready and the coach surrendered his book to me. I stood way off from everyone and refused to acknowledge anyone who tried to talk to me, knowing it would throw me off. I like to keep track of the balls and strikes as well; but it is so easy to concentrate on the pitcher and batter and then lose track of stolen bases and errors. You have to constantly be scanning the field and noting where all the runners are as well. And because the plays happen so fast and you’re trying to keep track of where everybody is, sometimes it becomes necessary to ask someone else what just happened.

Parenting is like this too. The little things do matter – but you can’t lose sight of the big picture. Your big dreams have to be constantly kept in the background, knowing that it is all the small decisions you and your children make each day that will bring you there. Constant change in focus and perspective is necessary to keep it all in balance. And one person can’t possibly do it all. Husband and wife need to keep each other appraised of what is going on play by play, from different viewpoints. If a single parent doesn’t have that on a daily basis, the job is so much tougher; he or she needs to have as much support as possible from other trusted adults.

I Thessalonians 4 captures both the intricate and the life summation in one short passage. In Christianity every thought and action that takes place in your daily walk is of importance; it all leads to eternal salvation. We are told not to “fall asleep” – we must be constantly aware and ready. Like we tell our girls not to fall asleep in the outfield because when that ball comes to them they have to be in “ready position” or bad things happen (like homeruns being scored on errors).

1 Thessalonians
Chapter 4 (NAB)
1
Finally, brothers, we earnestly ask and exhort you in the Lord Jesus that, as you received from us how you should conduct yourselves to please God--and as you are conducting yourselves--you do so even more.
2
For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.
3
This is the will of God, your holiness: that you refrain from immorality,
4
that each of you know how to acquire a wife for himself in holiness and honor,
5
not in lustful passion as do the Gentiles who do not know God;
6
not to take advantage of or exploit a brother in this matter, for the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you before and solemnly affirmed.
7
For God did not call us to impurity but to holiness.
8
Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not a human being but God, who (also) gives his holy Spirit to you.
9
On the subject of mutual charity you have no need for anyone to write you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another.
10
Indeed, you do this for all the brothers throughout Macedonia. Nevertheless we urge you, brothers, to progress even more,
11
and to aspire to live a tranquil life, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your (own) hands, as we instructed you,
12
that you may conduct yourselves properly toward outsiders and not depend on anyone.
13
We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, about those who have fallen asleep, so that you may not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.
14
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose, so too will God, through Jesus, bring with him those who have fallen asleep.
15
Indeed, we tell you this, on the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will surely not precede those who have fallen asleep.
16
For the Lord himself, with a word of command, with the voice of an archangel and with the trumpet of God, will come down from heaven, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
17
Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together 4 with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Thus we shall always be with the Lord.
18
Therefore, console one another with these words.

Picture is of Audrey playing catcher in a travel game October 2009. If you enjoyed this post you might also enjoy reading “Statistics: Who Needs Them?”

Running the race that lies before us

The first race for the Catholic Middle School Athletic Association this year was run on Yom Kippur at Sunken Meadow State Park. It was a marathon day for me; I choreographed the schedule the night before, including planning for a “meal” in the car.

I had to leave my house in the early afternoon to get to the school, pick up all the girls on the team, and drive them to Sunken Meadow State Park. After the race, we ate pepperoni, crackers, snap peas, and fruit on our way to softball practice. Near the field we stopped at McDonald’s for a 20-pack of chicken nuggets. I treated myself to a chocolate shake.

I remember the first year we started with organized sports. My eldest was 4 years old and we had started our official homeschooling for kindergarten. Soccer practice was the only place we had to be, twice a week; games were on Sundays. There was a family there with several foster children, who were all enrolled in teams in our local sports association.

“When do you eat?” I asked the mother incredulously.

“Sometimes we have to eat in the car,” she answered.

I was shocked. I would never let my family get so busy that we couldn’t sit down for a meal.

Eight years later, the joke is on me, and I remembered thinking that during the drive from cross country to softball. NEVER judge another parent until you have been in their shoes! As any professional runner will tell you, part of “running the race that lies before us” is never looking back to see what the other runners are doing.

You can see my eldest daughter (in the far right of this picture) as she breaks away from the pack and takes the lead in the first leg of this race. She is looking back, something one of her coaches noticed and pointed out to her. She finished up sixth in the race. My second daughter finished around number 20 and kept her focus straight ahead. Who did better? The motto of every runner is: “Do your personal best.”

This point is also made clear in one of the books in the C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia, “The Horse and His Boy”. The young girl asks Aslan what happened to a boy who had disobeyed and the answer is: “That is his story, not yours.”

According to The Catechism of the Catholic Church, the “great cloud of witnesses” includes all the saints from the beginning to the end of time. Saints are any people that are, or will be, accepted into Heaven; only the Lamb of God knows who these are for sure, but the Church will occasionally canonize those who have lived such a holy life that they are virtually certain they must be in Heaven.

These witnesses are all cheering us on, as we strive to achieve God’s plan for us. Going to Confession helps us to unburden the sins that are bogging us down. We are to keep our eyes on Jesus, not the people around us, during our race. That means not being too bothered by what others think of us, and not losing our focus by dwelling on what others are doing.

Hebrews 12: 1-2(NAB)
1
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us
2
while keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the leader and perfecter of faith. For the sake of the joy that lay before him he endured the cross, despising its shame, and has taken his seat at the right of the throne of God.

Join the Sainthood Project

Things are busier than ever here, but I still have time to pray and reflect on where my life is heading. Even busy, imperfect moms can be saints...
Do you want to be a saint?
Click here to find out about the Sainthood Project.

Towards a Better Resolution

I have been making birthday and New Years’ Resolutions ever since I started keeping journals, at the age of eight. Although I have been refining the process through my lifetime, they tend to always be formed along the same theme. Since I keep doing it, and enjoying it, I think I have a pretty good system in place. Here are the parameters for my resolution-making formula.

I make 10 general resolutions. These address all areas of life: spiritual, physical, psychological, and social. They also cover the JOY spectrum I learned in Sunday School: my relationships with Jesus first, then Others, then Self. They tend to cover the same areas of priorities and personal development that have been important throughout my life: family, prayer life, personal fitness, housekeeping projects (gardening, building, decluttering), skills development (piano, art, writing), and career advancement (publishing).

Making general resolutions is important in defining what is most important to me at this moment in my life, before making more specific ones. The more specific goals are those that outline exactly how I am going to meet each resolution. For example, here is one item that appears on most adults’ list: personal fitness. How many minutes per day will I exercise? What forms of exercise will I use? In looking back on the year, one might say, “Okay, I can still stand to lose 5 pounds, but I did manage to weight train twice a week and increase my muscle to fat ratio.” So even if you have to work more on the same resolution next year, you can say you did not fail. You were successful in part of the goals.

Always on my list is Writing More and Getting Published. Under that goal, I can say: write x minutes per day, submit one proposal per month, submit to y publisher of z magazine, etc. If I fail at publishing in print, at least I can say I wrote everyday and self-published on my blog.

Sometimes I can kill two birds with one stone. The specifics of two different general goals can work toward both ends. Decluttering has been quite popularized of late. Last year, under the general resolution of “organize house”, I made it a sub-goal to donate one-third of my books to my public library. I did it, and was able to use my new-found shelf space to organize our home office, which was another of my sub-goals. (In all fairness, I must admit that my garage is still a mess; however, I did take 5 minutes per day throughout the fall to organize small sections of it.)

On my birthday, Aug. 30, I revisit my goals. I put a check mark under the ones that I have made progress on, making notes on what I have done and what could be done better, and refine. Then I make a new list of goals, building on the ones I had made earlier in the year. I keep my resolutions in my journal. Others might find it easier to keep a notebook just for this purpose. A mini-notebook can be used for a daily log of exercise to keep you on track.

Do you keep your resolutions private, or make them public? This depends on you. Some people find that confiding their goals in someone help them to keep them better. Others find this a hindrance. I have a few writing friends that I have confided my publishing goals in, but in general keep those private. My spiritual and personal fitness goals are completely private. My organizational goals are public; they make for good conversation.

Obviously, resolutions must be reasonable, or they will be given up within a week. Only you know what is possible for you.

Happy New Year to you and yours, and if you make resolutions, resolve to keep them!