Resolutions 2011: How to make chore lists for kids

My final Examiner post this year is on How to make chore lists for the kids. Happy New Year and here’s to helping our kids to become independent contributors to society…starting at home.

Under the Boards

“If you don’t behave,” my Dad said to me sternly but half-jokingly, “We are going to cut your hair short, dress you like a boy, and have you come build houses for me. We’ll call you Lee.”

“Really?” I answered, thinking that would be great fun.

I was eight years old. I wouldn’t have a sibling until I was eleven, so my parents each imparted to me what skills they had, regardless of traditional gender roles. Mom taught me to sew; Dad taught me to cut wood with an electric saw. Mom taught me to be a lady; Dad taught me to think like a business man.

When I found out my first baby was going to be a girl, I decided she was not going to be a girly-girl. The woman who sold me a gallon of blue paint looked at my third-trimester tummy and knowingly commented, “You’re having a boy?”

“No, a girl. I like blue,” I said, defiantly.

Almost thirteen years later, I sat today watching my lovely young lady at the basketball awards party. She is two inches taller than me and absolutely beautiful. She carries herself with confidence. She is smart and athletic and knows it; yet she is too friendly for anyone to think she is conceited.

The coach introduced his award for Most Improved. “This player never played basketball before, and learned it fast. She took a beating under the boards, especially defending against those Southampton girls…” I knew he was going to say Audrey Miller.

I thought back to those big game moments that might have made a mother tremble with worry, or anger, or both; when she fought as if for her life under the basket to get the ball back to whoever on her team could get it down to the other end; when she was elbowed, scratched, and knocked to the ground, hard; and she retrieved that ball, held onto it as long as necessary, and expertly passed it off.

I was never worried because I knew she could take it; and I was proud of her for taking it; and I knew that every time she did this she would become stronger, both as a player and as a person.

I think of all the times people have told me that God gives us trials to make us stronger, and only gives us what He knows we can handle. Suddenly I realize that I have understood this along; that this is how I have been raising my kids because instinctively I knew this to be true.

James 1:2-4 (NAB) says: “Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Let us all take those beatings under the boards with strength and grace. The ball is in our court.

Picture above is of the girls' basketball team captains: Audrey is the first on the left.

10 steps to planting bulbs with your kids in the fall

Planting bulbs is such a great activity to do with your kids, and they are fully capable of performing all of the steps from the age of 2. Please click here to see my article on 10 steps to planting bulbs in the fall with your kids.

Independence in swimming and other skills

Walberswick: Children Paddling

Although I had the pool ready a month ago, it was not until this week that the weather allowed us to use it. Now we are in every day, for hours at a time. Our neighbors’ children have an open invitation, so it’s always a pool party over here.

My first on-the-books job was as a pool lifeguard for the Town of Oyster Bay. While I have the confidence that I could save someone and administer CPR if necessary, it is the last thing I want to have to do. I think I am a little more wary and vigilant than the average adult, because I know that it only take two tablespoons of water in the lungs to drown a person.

My almost-three-year old refuses to use her baby float, the kind that has a seat to keep the child up in its flotation ring. She sees the other kids using the other kind, and insists on being like them. I didn’t quite know what to do when, as I stood with my arms ready to steady her as she entered using the pool ladder, she commanded, “Go away Mom!” while gesturing for me to swim “over there”.

I backed off but was ready to spring on her at the slightest mis-step. She did fine, and improved with practice. Within a few days, she was able to swim with confidence with the other children, using only her swimming ring.

A seven-year-old girl in my neighborhood came over with her sisters, wearing a swim vest. After the first hour, she decided she didn’t need it anymore. “You can’t swim!” declared her nine-year-old sister. “I can too!” she answered.

I stood by, a little nervous because she was still unsure about herself. Then she went off with my twelve-year-old and after another hour was swimming just like the other kids. When her mother came by, she was astounded. “She was afraid of the water!” she said, very pleasantly surprised.

I was surprised too, not having known the extent of this sudden change in her, because I really hadn’t done a thing. Sometimes that is the best thing for parents to do, is to stand by vigilantly while their children test the waters, whether in swimming or using the stairs or climbing a tree.

Sirach
Chapter 40

1 A great anxiety has God allotted, and a heavy yoke, to the sons of men; From the day one leaves his mother's womb to the day he returns to the mother of all the living,
2
His thoughts, the fear in his heart, and his troubled forebodings till the day he dies--
3
Whether he sits on a lofty throne or grovels in dust and ashes,
4
Whether he bears a splendid crown or is wrapped in the coarsest of cloaks--
5
Are of wrath and envy, trouble and dread, terror of death, fury and strife. Even when he lies on his bed to rest, his cares at night disturb his sleep.
6
So short is his rest it seems like none, till in his dreams he struggles as he did by day, Terrified by what his mind's eye sees, like a fugitive being pursued;
7
As he reaches safety, he wakes up astonished that there was nothing to fear.