Review of “Sex au Naturel: What it is and Why it’s Good for your Marriage” by Patrick Coffin

Leave it to a well-informed Catholic to be able to write for 134 pages about sex without being “sexy”. Despite the romantic cover, this book is actually a rather technical and philosophical treatise explaining the true meaning and reasoning behind Humanae Vitae and other church documents pertaining to human sexuality and marriage.

“Sex au Naturel: What it is and Why it’s Good for your Marriage” by Patrick Coffin was written primarily for practicing Catholics but all Christians may benefit from it. Whether the reader believes whole-heartedly in the teachings of the Catholic Church regarding sexuality, dissents, or is confused either about what the catechism teaches or how he or she feels about it, this book offers rational clarification. One may disagree at the end, but with a better understanding of many different facets of the issues.

Coffin first explains the basics of the 1968 papal encyclical “Humanae Vitae” (“On the Regulation of Human Life”) and the world’s reaction to it, in the context of the 1960’s, the introduction of the Pill and the Sexual Revolution, and the Second Vatican Council. Other little known encyclicals are referenced.

The author explains the mistaken view of conscience that powers the movement of dissent against the Church’s sexual ethics. Then he delves into the scriptural basis for these teachings and the logic of natural law that coincides with the same. He explains how Protestant churches originally reached the same conclusions and why they diverged from them.

What does the marital act have to do with the Trinity? This section is mind-blowing in its comparisons of pro-creative sex with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The argument for “Sex au Naturel” from here on gets more and more powerful.

Proceed from there to the explanation of how contraception contradicts natural law. Coffin also goes into how exactly contraception is different, both physically and spiritually, from natural family planning, and how couples who have been sterilized can get a “second chance” in following Catholic teaching in their marriage. He also explains how reproductive technologies go against the grain of Christian teaching when marital love is taken out of procreation.

The appendix includes many informational references on Natural Family Planning, Theology of the Body, Catholic Teaching on Sex and Marriage, Educational Organizations, Sexual Addiction, and Marriage Counseling and Support.

This book is excellent reading for anyone who wants to be better informed about Catholic teaching on sex and marriage. It would be a great complement to marriage preparation classes or marriage counseling sessions.

This review was written as part of the Catholic book Reviewer program from The Catholic Company. I was sent the book for free in exchange for my honest review. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Sex au Naturel .

The Night’s Dark Shade: A Novel of the Cathars by Elena Maria Vidal

I had the pleasure of reading Elena Maria Vidals’ new historical romance, “The Night’s Dark Shade: A Novel of the Cathars”, released by Mayapple Press in November, 2009.

The Night’s Dark Shade tells the story of a young heiress, Lady Raphaelle, who is caught up in the turmoil of the Albigensian Crusade in thirteenth century France. En route to meet her betrothed in the castle in the Pyrenees that is hers by right, she is rescued from an ambush by the brave and alluring Sir Martin.

The sparks between the two are flying from the very beginning, while the readers learns of the history of the crusade as well as the mysterious Cathars, a polytheistic sect which claimed to be Christian. In the first chapter the setting, plot, and all the main characters are all well-established. The second chapter instructs us on some history as told by the sweet-smelling knight as he carries her on horseback to her castle. The novel moves on, mixing history and drama, at a good pace. Raphaelle is caught up in several major dilemmas; we can truly sympathize with what she is going through.

Raphaelle is a strong character who insists on doing what is right for her people. All that she does, including following through on her betrothal to a man she does not love, is seen as her duty to them. Even so, she is torn by the feelings she has for another man. She also chooses to harbor an evil object which results in dire consequences. Vidal shows us how even the very best of us can struggle with sin.

The book addresses some surprising delicate moral issues of the time that are seldom brought up in a Christian novel. The Cathars were against marriage because it regularized procreation, and they thought children were evil. The religious midwives used herbs to prevent conception or to abort, even killing live babies if they were not deemed fit to survive. They promoted homosexuality because it did not result in children. People were encouraged to live together without marriage because they were more likely to contracept.

These topics are intertwined through the plot; the immoral acts are alluded to but never described explicited. The historical research is well documented, and moral deductions drawn by the author are all consistent with Catholic doctrine.

The more you read about history, the more you realize that there is truly nothing new under the sun. What is going on in modern society is a rerun of what was happening in the Middle Ages. If you haven’t heard about the “dark side of being green”, many environmental groups have been saying that children are “emitters” and the best thing we can do for the environment is to stop having children! Planned Parenthood is supported by so many large and well-reputed organizations that it is hard to go shopping, go to a movie, or go to a theme park without purchasing a product that will go toward their “cause”.

I was pleasantly surprised by the ending. I was up until 3 AM reading the suspenseful ending! Justice is served (medieval style!) to the protagonists. The main characters all make turn-arounds for the better and there is forgiveness all around. The choice Raphaelle makes in the end is completely satisfying.

Elena Maria Vidal sent me a copy of the newly released book in exchange for my honest review of her book. The author studied the Cathars at SUNY Albany before receiving her Master’s Degree in European History. She also authored Trianon and Madame Royale. You can follow her blog at http://teaattriannon.blogspot.com

The book is available from Lulu.com and will be available from Amazon in a few weeks.

Signed copies can also be bought directly from the author at her blog

This review also appears as a guest post at Catholic Media Review.

Pure Manhood by Jason Evert

“When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: It will be a crown of triumph.” – St. Josemaria Escriva.

In this 52-page booklet, Jason Evert draws from his own experience to address the questions adolescent boys might have about why they should stay pure. He confesses that, although he kept his virginity for his wife, he gave in to temptation in many other ways that were harmful to him spiritually. He challenges boys to think of their sexuality in a very different way from how the world teaches.

Evert asks: Why do we feel protective of our sisters, daughters, and future wives, but take all that we can get from our girlfriends? Would we want our future wives to be doing what we are doing with our girlfriends right now? He brings up points that are too rarely brought up in chastity talks. If you love someone, you want what is best for them. You are not just staying pure to protect yourself. You are doing it to protect the physical and spiritual well-being of your future wife and whomever you might be dating right now.

Evert brings up points that ideally would be a part of the continual conversation between fathers and their sons in the years leading up to and through the onset of dating. Guys need to know why they should wait, and tools they can use to help them to remain pure. They need to know that girls value purity in a man and are actually more attracted to gentlemen who treat them like ladies. And they need to know that birth control does not offer complete protection from sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy.

For the young man who has not received the message that his body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, this little book might be the eye opener that helps to saves him from the heartache that comes with empty sexual experiences and the possible consequences thereof. I would recommend putting this book out among teenage youth groups, in conjunction with the availability of a counselor who could talk to the boys about the questions they might have.

For teenage boys who have received all this information from their parents already, this could be used as an added reinforcement. For pre-teen boys who have not yet been exposed to the dating world, I would recommend previewing the book to decide if the material is appropriate.

You may also enjoy my review of Pure Womanhood by Crystalina Evert.

This review was written as part of the Catholic Company reviewer program. For ordering information please visit their website.

Pure Womanhood

“Do not arouse, do not stir up love before its own time.”
Song of Songs 3:5, NAB

In the 44-page booklet "Pure Womanhood", Crystalina Evert draws from her own experience to address the questions adolescent girls might have about why they should wait. From the first page, she lets the readers know she was no angel, but that she regretted having given up the precious gift of her virginity before marriage. Coming from this perspective allows her to get her points across without sounding overly preachy.

Evert brings up points that ideally would be a part of the continual conversation between mothers and their daughters in the years leading up to and through the onset of dating. Girls need to know why they should wait, and tools they can use to help them to remain pure. They need to know that guys actually respect and value a young woman who respects and values her own body and mind. And they need to know the scary, well-documented stuff that is brought up at the end of the book about how birth control does not protect from sexually transmitted diseases and has some nasty side effects.

For the young woman who has not received the message that her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, this little book might be the eye opener that helps to save her from the heartache that comes with empty sexual experiences. I would recommend putting this book out among teenage youth groups, in conjunction with the availability of a counselor who could talk to the girls about the questions they might have.

For teenage girls who have received all this information from their parents already, this could be used as an added reinforcement. For pre-teen girls who have not yet been exposed to the dating world, I would recommend previewing the book to decide if the material is appropriate.

Crystalina Evert is a chastity speaker and is a co-author of Theology of the Body for Teens. "Pure Womanhood" is published by Pure Love Club.

You might enjoy my review of "Pure Manhood" by Jason Evert.

This review was written as part of the Catholic book Reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Pure Womanhood.

Bristol Palin is now Preaching Abstinence

Several weeks back, Bristol Palin did an interview with Greta Sustern of Fox News. She said then that, while she thought abstinence was a good thing to teach, it was not practical. Now that her relationship with her then-fiance is over, she is witnessing to teens that abstinence is the only way to completely prevent pregnancy. Her ex-boyfriend, on the other hand, is going around saying that contraception should be taught because abstinence is not practical.

Why the change of heart on Bristol’s part? I try to put myself in her shoes before and after the breakup. First, although their life plans have completely changed, they had made a commitment to each other to start their family with the unity of a Christian marriage. So, although they had made a mistake, they had convinced themselves that things would work out. After, regardless of who initiated the break-up, I can imagine thinking, “After all I gave up, and now it’s over. I should never have given into temptation.”

When Adam and Eve came together, their flesh became one. Teens aren’t taught that in their secular sex education courses. They are told that sex is fun, and that you can separate yourself from the actions your body is taking. Parents need to work double-time to counteract the dangerous effects of these ideas. “Theology of the Body for Teens” is now available to be taught in your parish. Do some research and see what ideas you can take from it.

How Pro-Life are you?

Elitism and hypocrisy are alive and well in America.

There is a topic I have avoided since the start of writing this blog, although it is quite close to my heart. Indeed, the novel I have been slaving over has to do with this very subject. I wanted my blog to be uplifting to all mothers and focus on the positives.

I pray daily for the victims of abortion: the children, the mothers, the fathers, the grandparents, and society in general. With a conservative estimate of one-third of today’s women having at least one abortion, whether you like it or not, the reality is that out of your three best friends, one of them probably has had one. These women will have a life-long need of healing from the consequences of this choice.

I heard something today that truly incensed me. That is the ugly truth that young girls in our Catholic High Schools are being taken by their parents to commit abortions. In my head echoed a homily spoken a few years ago in my parish. The deacon challenged his listeners: How pro-Life are you, really? What would you do if you found out your teenage daughter was pregnant? Would you put your money where your mouth is?

Do these parents know that they are putting on their daughters a life sentence of guilt, as well as the physical consequences to their still-developing reproductive systems? If they think the child is too young to take care of a child, what about the emotional and spiritual weight of the act of voiding an innocent life?

This completely relates to the elitism that has long bothered me: first in the homeschooling world, then in the circle of Catholic School parents. It is the us-them mentality. The idea that our precious children would be corrupted by interacting with public schooled children.

I have known homeschooling parents who refused to allow their children to socialize with non-homeschoolers; now I have heard many Catholic School parents say that the public school children in their neighborhood would have a bad influence on their children. No wonder the public school parents seem to think of both homeschooling and private school parents, “What, the public school isn’t good enough for their children?” They think we think that way, because many of us do.

The primary reason I homeschooled first, and now send my children to Catholic school, has to do with the Culture in the classroom. I want my children to be in an atmosphere in which God permeates every subject. When not spoken of explicitly, there is the implicit assumption that God is present. In Science, He comes in as the Creator of the beautiful laws of the universe. In History, He is the one who has always been and always will be; who guides men’s hearts and actions. In Mathematics, He is the Ultimate Rule of Logic. In English, He is The Word.

There is a danger in assuming that our children will be shielded from bad behavior because the parents of the other children are willing to shell out $x to send them to the same school. I wonder now, what is worse: a high school in which pregnant teens proudly waddle down the halls, or one in which we pretend at innocence while hiding ugly truths?

No matter what schools our children attend, the responsibility for teaching the Theology of the Body lies with us, the parents. From the moment of birth, they learn that you value the bond of motherhood as God’s Divine Gift. It starts there, and “The Conversation” is not just one talk about “the birds and the bees”, but many, as you gently respond to their questions, letting them know they are encouraged to ask, begging them to come back for more. Movies, books, television, events in the life of their friends all can act as prompts for a continuation of this dialogue.

Please click on the advertisement of “Bella”, a pro-life movie that promises to be one you can take your daughter to and explore this topic together.