The World as I See It

Slipping in and out of consciousness
The day just happens by
Familiar faces come and go
Happy voices chatter
And sibling quarrels break out
Strong arms gather me
To warm bodies
Pleasant smells drift
As the dinner bell rings
I nuzzle mother’s breast
And drink her warm milk

Poem Copyright 2006 - Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller
Picture Copyright 2006 - Joanna Stephanie Gerold-Cummings

Baby Stuff I Never Needed

I read an editorial today that resonated well with me. “The way we figure it, one day our children will be grateful for what we didn’t give them – and what we did for them instead,” writes Pamela Paul, the author of “Parenting Inc.: How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers – and What it Means for our Children”.

I always read with a quizzing eyebrow estimates of how much it costs to bring up one child. And increasingly people comment on how much it must cost to raise more than two children. Recently I have read several editorials stating that having three or more children is a sign of wealth. I laugh at that, because I am middle class all the way.

But I also do not believe we need all the stuff that people seem to think is so necessary. $6,700 is now the estimated cost of all the baby equipment needed for the first year. I never spent that on all my babies in total. I had one modest baby shower, which I was extremely thankful for. (The current average is three for the first baby, with “Sprinkles” thrown for later babies.) The basic equipment was expected to last for all of my children, no matter how many I might have. Gifts and hand-me-downs supplied more than what I needed, other than food and diapers.

There is a church called St. Mary’s in Port Jefferson that picks up used clothes, primarily for the support of single mothers. About once a month, I put out several large bags of stuff, wondering, “Where on earth did all of this come from?”

I am thankful to all the friends who gave me their gently used hand-me-downs, freeing me from the burden of buying clothing for four children. Yet I am just as happy to see them go out the door. You would not believe the amount of square footage it takes to store clothes for boys and girls, sizes 0 through 14!

I cleared out the entire top shelf of the baby’s closet this morning in preparation for the next St. Mary’s pickup. They were soft goods I rarely, if ever used, and would not need if I ever had another child. Among them were:

Round padded play mat: hard to wash, and a blanket serves the same purpose.

Crib bumpers: no longer recommended; can be a suffocation hazard after the baby can roll over, and babies can climb on them.

Boppy pillow: I found this inconvenient to use for nursing, and never knew you were supposed to use it to help the baby learn to sit. All my kids learned without it.

Some other equipment I have given away in the past and never plan to use again:

Exer-saucer: a big waste of space

Bouncy baby seats: I’ll stick with my swing, one real necessity
Walkers: No longer sold in most reputable stores, abhorred by pediatric associations for risk of injuries.

I could write a whole other post on things my older kids do not need and will never have, even if I win a million dollars. Maybe I will. Yes, I definitely will. Please check in for my next post: “Things My Kids Don’t Need”.

“Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?”
Matth 6:28-30

Painting above by Claude Monet:
“Poplars near Argenteuil or Meadow with Poplars”

Security Objects

Ah, finally, a snow worthy of snow pants, snow boots, and snow shovels! We have about six inches of snow here on Eastern Long Island, with more continually falling. The kids have been enjoying this day immensely.

What an exciting week! My sister-in-law gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy yesterday afternoon. My husband went to visit her. We were really disappointed to find that the hospital would not admit children under the age of 14. So the children and I will have to wait to see the new little addition to our extended family. I finally got the new mom on the telephone this morning. “He’s perfect,” she said, in a tired but happy voice. Thanks to all of you who prayed! It just so happens that this was also my great-grandmother's birthday - a doubly special day!

I have one hundred Choose Life license plate tag holders on their way to my house. It will be my personal little mission to get these on the roads of New York this spring. (To order one for yourself, go to http://www.choose-life.org/)

The baby has been increasingly attached to her security objects over the past week. The number of things she needs to carry with her have with her have grown exponentially each day, so that there is barely enough room in my arms to carry her and everything else.

Number one is “night night”, her favorite white blanket. Then there is “mama”. That is what she has called baby dolls, since I first put one in her arms and made it say “mama” in a teeny little voice. Sometimes she also has to carry her second favorite doll, “mama” number two.

While nursing, she continually checks anxiously to make sure Night Night and Mama are still there. Why can’t she peacefully take her nourishment while snuggled into her mother, I wonder to myself.

I wonder if Our Heavenly Father looks down on us and wonders the same thing. He doesn’t want us to be anxious and worried about earthly things either. He wants us to fully partake in all the beauty he has given us, and leave our needs at his feet.

“Notice how the flowers grow. They do not toil or spin. But I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass in the field that grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore. All the nations of the world seek for these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given you besides. Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.”
Luke 12:27-34

Above: An oil on canvas landscape by John Fabian Carlson, American artist, 1924

A Shower of Happiness

Today my daughters and I attended a baby shower for my sister-in-law. It was in a very classy restaurant, which was well-attended by about sixty friends and family members.

I am astounded by all the wonderful new products that have come out, many that are helpful for attachment parenting, including: slings, co-sleepers, and breast pumps (which I believe help Mom to be attached to Baby in a physical way even while at work).

It took several vans to load up the presents to be taken to the mother-to-be’s home. I remarked to the father-to-be, “All this for one little person!”

I think of Jesus, who was brought into this world with nothing but swaddling clothes. Not even a crib in which to rest. I do believe we can think of Mary’s situation with humility and be all the more thankful for the modern comforts we are afforded.

Pictured above are the white chocolate lollipops I made for the shower favor. The details are made from colored white chocolate wafers. I tried out the new squeeze tubes for drawing on the colors. In the end, the tubes melted and I wound up using my old tried-and-true method of using a paint brush. For the last few dozen, I ran out of time and just filled the molds with white chocolate. These looked nice also, and tasted great. By the way, white chocolate is not really chocolate.

Please take a moment to say a prayer for Baby, who is due Feb. 22.

Like a Little Child

Over the past week, my 14 ½- month-old has experimented with standing up in the middle of the room and taking one small step. At first that step was barely discernible, and I could barely take my eyes off her for fear of missing something important. Today she took two steps, sat down, stood up, then took six steps towards me. The gleam in her eyes showed she knew she was doing something amazing. Gladly I had all her siblings home to witness it. Later we tried to get her to do it for her father, but she refused to cooperate.

As proud she is to stand and take some steps, she is very happy crawling and does not hesitate to return to it. If she is standing and sees something she wants, she pauses, seeming to calculate the easiest way, then drops and crawls. Or, she might see that if she throws her body a bit in one direction, she can make it to the couch and thus avoid having to change her height status. If she has something she desires to carry along with her, she will do a sort of step-crawl, sitting on her rear and using one foot to get ahead.

The children have a ball when they all get down on their hands and knees and crawl around the downstairs in a circle – a central wall divides the three main rooms of the main level – gleefully she follows them around, squealing laughter as they carry on the “crawling races”.

That she does not discern her “lowliness” as a crawler from her altered stature as a walker represents the unselfconscious humility that God desires of us. Yes, He desires that we grow and mature in His Ways, but we are to retain a certain childlike quality while doing so. It is not as simple to do as it sounds.

“Just then the disciples came up to Jesus with the question,
‘Who is of greatest importance in the kingdom of God?’
He called a little child over and stood him in their midst and said:
‘I assure you, unless you change and become like little children,
you will not enter the kingdom of God.
Whoever makes himself lowly,
Becoming like this child,
Is of greatest importance in that heavenly reign.
Whoever welcomes one such child for my sake welcomes me.
On the other hand,
It would be better for anyone who leads astray one of these little ones who believe in me,
To be drowned by a millstone around his neck,
In the depths of the sea.”
Matthew 18:1-6

I have received a prayer request for someone who is putting her unborn baby in the position of utmost importance:

Dear Elizabeth,

Late last night, a friend called me with an urgent
prayer request.

As he described the situation, I realized how the young
mother's love profoundly demonstrates the spirit of 40
Days for Life.

While flying to Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota this
afternoon, I felt compelled to share this, so you could
fervently pray for this family now, and during the rest
of 40 Days for Life...

Urgent prayers are requested for the health and
development of Baby John, unborn son of Stacey and Joe
Persichetti, as well as for health and strength of his
parents, and the wisdom of his doctors.

Stacey, the mother, was diagnosed with serious brain
cancer last fall and, during the course of chemo and
radiation treatment, discovered that she is pregnant.

Due to her treatment, the baby has been exposed to the
chemicals from day one.

She has been informed by her baby-related doctors that
the chemo is very strong and particularly attacks DNA
growth in cells and therefore the baby. The doctors
feel that there will be neurological damage to the
child, although the ultrasounds have thus far showed
relatively normal growth.

Additionally, her cancer-related doctors have told her
that they do not want her to stop treatment because her
cancer is so aggressive. They said that if she carries
the baby to 40 weeks gestation, she probably won't live
to deliver the child.

Rather than resort to the world's suggested "solution"
of an abortion, Stacey is taking a 10 week break from
her treatment to allow the baby to reach 28 weeks
gestation, when the doctors can deliver via C-section.

The bottom line: Stacey is risking her own life to give
her baby a chance to live, even though her child may
have complications resulting from the cancer treatment.

Scripture tells us, "There is no greater love than to
lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13)

Stacey's selfless faith during this difficult time is
showing us -- and the whole world -- this greatest form
of love.

Let's dedicate our 40 Days for Life prayers and efforts
today in honor of Stacey, her husband Joe, and Baby
John, and let's show the world that same kind of love
as we selflessly work to protect all innocent children
in the womb and their mothers and fathers.

For Stacey, Joe, and Baby John,

David Bereit, National Campaign Director, 40 Days for
Life

P.S.- The Persichetti family would be deeply touched to
know that you are praying for their family. Please take
a moment to leave a reply with your prayers for them at
the bottom of today's blog posting.

Watercolor painting above:
Christ Teaching His Disciples and Holding a Child.
Thomas Stothard, c 1780. Tate Gallery.

Stand Up For Life!

At fourteen months, my youngest daughter is just now starting to bring herself to a stand in the middle of the room. As we have all been holding our breaths for this moment, she takes in the attention gleefully. Eyes shining, smile wide, she looks around the room as we clap for her. She claps for herself and says, “Yay!” as my son counts the number of seconds she is able to stand.

As much as we are happy to see her developmental progress, neither are we in a rush to see her leave babyhood behind.

Today, after my eldest daughter’s cross-country meet, it was so hot out that we went down to the beach area. “Only up to your knees,” I warned the children, knowing what was bound to happen anyway. As I held the baby in up to her knees, my eight-year-old “accidentally” fell in. It was all over after that. My children and all the cross-country teammates were soon ALL in, clothes and all. We got a great picture to send to our coach.

Tomorrow we will take part in the Eastern Long Island “Stand Up For Life” prayerful vigil, as well as the “Baby Bottle Campaign”. My daughters will be giving out baby bottles after church, to collect for needy moms-to-be. Later we will be standing, along with schoolmates and other pro-lifers from across Long Island, with placards in hand. Lots of apple-pickers will be stuck in traffic taking in our message to respect the life of the innocent unborn. This will be my first real pro-life event I’ve taken part in. I will be sure to report back all my observations!

From 40 Days for Life:
The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
(USCCB) recognizes Sunday, October 7, as "Respect Life
Sunday" and has many resources for that day, as well as
the rest of Respect Life month. Get more info here.

Sunday, October 7, is the 20th nationwide Life
Chain, a peaceful and prayerful witness of Americans
standing for one hour praying for our nation. These
wonderful events will be held in hundreds of cities
across America and many 40 Days for Life locations are
participating in Life Chain as part of their efforts.
The founder and president of Life Chain, Royce Dunn,
has been one of the most vocal supporters of 40 Days
for Life and he is an amazing man of faith! Learn more.

Painting above by Stefan Lochner (born 1442 - died 1451)
“Madonna Of The Rose Bush”, 1450, Oil on canvas

An Infant's Perception of the World

Slipping in and out of consciousness
The day just happens by.
Familiar faces come and go,
Happy voices chatter,
And sibling quarrels break out.
Strong arms gather me
To warm bodies;
Pleasant smells drift
As the dinner bell rings;
I nuzzle mother’s breast
And drink her warm milk.


"The World as I See it"
By Elizabeth Kathryn Miller

Little Hands

Little Hands
By Elizabeth Kathryn Miller

Little Hands
Tightly grasp
A tiny piece
Of her world.
A piece of cloth,
A finger,
A pacifier ring,
Or the air;
Each has something
To tactily tell
Her a small bit
About this earth.

Pictured:

“Hope: Baby Hands and Feet”
By Laura Monahan

The Miller Family's Angels

My baby talks to angels. She chatters with them, laughs at them, and plays with them. As she turns one this week, I hope she will continue to interact with angels well into her second year. I like to think that all babies are capable of perceiving spiritual beings. I never noticed this phenomenon in my first three children.

She truly is a magical child, with deep, soulful eyes. She looks at paintings so intently that you half believe the pictures will come to life and she could pop into them, as in C.S. Lewis’ “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”.

It may be that I myself had not been spiritual enough to see what was going on. If any of the first three had seen angels, I was never aware of it. I never had been “into” angels until the few years leading up to my fourth child’s conception. My husband and I decided to purchase a print for our bedroom. He was drawn to the cupid portion of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel. He said the cupids reminded him of our children. Inexplicably, friends and family then started giving us angels as gifts.

I finally realized that these gifts of angels must have some significance for me. I had been really scared about having this baby. I had gestational diabetes with the third pregnancy, resulting in an almost-ten-pounder. For this reason along, the doctors had my file red-flagged from the beginning.

I voraciously read all I could about diabetes and pregnancy. I exercised and kept to a diet high in fiber, magnesium, and complex carbs, and low in refined sugars, baked goods, and processed foods. The early sugar tests came back and I was feeling really proud of myself. Then a revised reading came back on my first sonogram.

Over the telephone, the nurse practitioner told me they had found a placenta previa. Not knowing what this was, I immediately went to my encyclopedia, then to the internet. I found that there were three types: marginal, partial, and complete. Complete was the worst, with the placenta completely covering the cervix, making a normal delivery impossible. Partial stood for the placenta partially covered the cervix, leading to a “wait and see” approach with the doctors. Marginal meant the placenta was near to, but not touching, the cervix. The complete and partial could cause bleeding and subsequent bedrest and most likely a caesarean.

I would not know what type I had until my next appointment; but I assumed the worst. I thought I was going to die of hemorrhage. I am not kidding. I purchased a life insurance policy for myself. I made all preparations for the children to be placed in a good school the following year (I had been homeschooling up to this point). I organized my paperwork. I reestablished some broken family relationships.

My previa was marginal, and the “wait and see” approach continued throughout the entire pregnancy. Gestational diabetes never did show up. Each sonogram looked a little better, with the placenta gradually migrating toward the top of the womb. Finally, a week before the birth, the doctor said, “Everything looks great. No caesarian for you.”

It was the easiest birth of them all. I wish I could say she was my easiest child. This one made sure she got her share of the attention! It wound up for the best that the children were in school in the fall. If my eyes weren’t on her, my arms around her, my complete focus on her, she would holler for me.

She would nurse several times per night. I got used to walking around in the dark. When I brought her to my bed, I could see her grasping at things in the air. When she started to babble, she would talk to the mid-air objects. With my lack of sleep, maybe I was more given to feeling the presence of the “other” myself. But I felt the presence of angels.

In March of this year, we were in a freak car accident. I had just parked at the post office, in a parking lot spot adjacent to the street. I was about to unbuckle my seatbelt, when I saw a white minivan jump the sidewalk and FLY through the air off the main road directly toward the windshield of my minivan. I ducked in the direction of the baby, who was in the seat behind the front passenger’s seat. I braced myself and got ready to meet my Maker.

Like a curveball, the white minivan magically curved so that it hit the rear driver’s side. I felt my vehicle lift up, then was brought to rest against another parked car to my right. The baby’s car seat slammed against the side of the vehicle as the car came down. She screamed a scared cry. I was able to get out, with the baby, through the driver’s side window.

All I could think of was the baby, the baby, I hope she’s alright. Not even thinking about myself, I got into the ambulance with her. At the hospital and later the pediatrician, she was declared to be fine. I suffered muscle injuries that had to be treated with physical therapy for several months, but thankfully I was able to walk away from that accident.

If anything had been different – if I had unbuckled my seatbelt, gotten out of the car, or had another passenger in the car – we would not have fared well. I do believe angels guided that other vehicle to hit mine in exactly the location that would enable us all to escape alive.

Since then I have been even more aware of the baby’s relationship with her angels. She babbles in the middle of the night, in the darkness, with the cadence of English conversation. It is pure enjoyment for her.

I wonder if a baby’s ability to see angels comes from their sense of unity with Creation. With the discovery of one’s “self” as separate from “other”, I wonder if something gained results in something lost. When she finally knows herself as “I” will she stop seeing the angels?

Why does Mary typically appear to children? She herself must have been “like a child” – Joseph as well – as the angels appeared in full form to them. Jacob fought with an angel in a dream. The disciples walked with angels who appeared as men.

I do think some people are chosen to see the divine. Only if they can retain that special quality of a child will they keep that gift.

“…Out of the mouths of infants and nurslings you have brought forth Praise..” Matt. 21:16

“At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, ‘Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kindgdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.’”
Matthew 18:1-5

Painting above left:
ALBANI, Francesco. Holy Family1630-35

Oil on canvas, 57 x 43 cm

Galleria Palatina (Palazzo Pitti), Florence