Wednesday, March 12, 2008

One Million Rosaries for Unborn Babies: A Letter from St. Michael the Archangel Organization



"And as you would that men should do to you, do you also to them in like
manner." (The Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ, according to Saint Luke, chapter 6, verse 31)

SAINT MICHAEL THE ARCHANGEL ORGANIZATION
P.O. Box 41257
PatrickBenedict@rcin.net
Memphis, Tennessee 38174
(901) 725-4115

Dear Elizabeth Kathryn Gerold-Miller,

Hello.

I am writing to let you know about the Saturday, May 3rd, 2008 ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event.
The Saint Michael the Archangel Organization of Memphis, Tennessee is coordinating this prayer event which is designed to have at least one million people throughout the United States pray the Rosary within one particular hour for the following intention: For an end to the surgical and non-surgical killing of unborn babies.

The Saint Michael the Archangel Organization's website contains much information, including: 1) how to register to be a participant in the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event; and, 2) how a person may promote this pro-life prayer event. The website address is:
www.SaintMichaelTheArchangelOrganization.org

I do hope you will be able to register today to be a participant.(Just go to the above-mentioned website and click on "Register as a participant". It may take you about one minute to register.) Also, between now and May 3rd, I hope you will be able to do one or both of the following:

1) Forward this email to people you think would
be interested in the ONE MILLION ROSARIES
FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event;

2) Print out the "Information Page/Bulletin Insert" that is
available at the above-mentioned website. Then, ask that
your parish: a) make copies of it; and, b) insert them into
the parish's bulletins.

You may go to the home page of the above-mentioned website to see the count of the number of people who plan on participating in the ONE MILLION ROSARIES FOR UNBORN BABIES prayer event. The count started on February 4th, 2008. Hopefully, by May 3rd, 2008, the count will be at least 1,000,000.

Please contact me if you need to: PatrickBenedict@rcin.net
(I am a parishioner at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in the Diocese of Memphis in Tennessee.)

Sincerely,

Patrick Benedict, President
Saint Michael the Archangel Organization

p.s. While at the Saint Michael the Archangel Organization's website, please consider reading about and taking part in the petition effort to Pope Benedict XVI.

p.p.s. If you would, while at the above-mentioned website, please consider going to the "donations page." Presently, the Saint Michael the Archangel Organization could use some help.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Our Little Observers: Talking to Kids about Contraception and the Media

We had a respite from the cold weather early last week, with breezy fifty-degree sunny afternoons. I was able to get on my bicycle a few times, with my toddler in her safety seat.

I would check every once in a while to see how she was reacting to her ride. She was just taking everything in, quite calmly and peacefully.

Something made me think of the Peanuts cartoons, in which Rerun, Linus’ little brother, would be pictured sitting on the back of his mother’s bicycle. You never actually saw the mother, but she was there by implication.

Thwack! A branch would hit him in the face. Thunk! They would go into a hold in the road. Bunk! They would go over a bump in the road. There was nothing Rerun could do but choose a reaction to whatever was coming his way.

For some reason, I thought of this again as I puzzled over how to handle a commercial my children had unwittingly witnessed.

On Saturday afternoon, I chose a movie on the Women’s Entertainment channel for my children to view. I had seen it and considered it a family film, with a dog for one of the main characters. I was going to and fro, getting this and that done, when I passed through the living room and froze.

I was absolutely shocked that, on a Saturday afternoon, on a network included on my “family package”, they were showing a commercial for Mirena, an intrauterine device. I had seen the commercial myself late at night, and knew it by heart. I was coming in at the end, and it was too late to turn it off.

A big, beautiful house, two parents with three children and a dog are shown. “Not planning to have another child in the next five years? Have we got the perfect solution for you.”[paraphrased] Scenes are shown of the beautiful family having lots of fun in front of their big beautiful house. “And if you should happen to change your mind, it is easily removed.”[paraphrased] The family is shown with a new baby.

I really didn’t know how to handle this. My children were too young for terms such as “abortifascient”. Yet they were being thrown images that convey the idea that babies are an inconvenience, that having material things was more important than the spiritual, and that it is okay to place unnatural devices into the uterus God gave us in order to prevent pregnancy.

I hoped the commercial had gone over their heads. And if not, the life we are leading goes contrary to those messages, and should show them that they are false, right?

But later that night, it was still bothering me. Somehow these messages get into the subconscious and build there, so that if we don’t fight them, the children grow up with the media’s portrayal of sexuality as part of their psyches.

So during lunch after Church on Sunday, I said to them, “Do you remember that commercial that was showing during the movie…” describing the commercial. Vaguely, they did. I explained in children’s terms that we as Catholics do not believe it is good to place unnatural devices in our bodies to stop babies from being conceived.

I went further, analyzing the tricky ways the commercial tries to convey images of materialism and values that go counter to our own. They caught onto my wavelength here, and had some ideas of their own to add. It was quite a fruitful conversation.

I will not be allowing WE movies to air in my home with the children’s viewing unsupervised again.

If you enjoyed this article, you might want to read my post on “Explaining Abortion to Children”.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

The Demerit System

I shook my head in dismay as I went into each of my school-age children’s bedrooms this morning. Each of them had neglected to open their blinds (to let their houseplants get sunlight) and make their beds. The girls had forgotten to pick their clothes up off their floor.

I have yet to find a punishment or reward system that will work to get the girls to clean their rooms. This seems inconceivable to me, as I always kept a neat room when I was a child. I loved to organize, and had always assumed that all little girls did too. My son, thankfully, seems to have a built-in organizational mind and tends to keep his things more or less in order.

A light bulb went off in my head. I sat down at my desk with some paper. “1 demerit,” I wrote, “Bed not made”. I cut a hole in it and put it on my son’s doorknob. For the girls I wrote, “2 demerits. Bed not made. Clothes not picked up.” This gave me an instant sense of satisfaction.

When the children came home, I greeted them with, “You’re not allowed to throw out your demerits.”

“Huh?’ they asked.

“I gave you demerits. They are hanging on your door.”

They rushed up to see. They all burst out into giggles.

None of my children have ever gotten demerits at school. It seems that they are seldom given out, and I always hear about it when one of their classmates gets one.

I, on the other hand, used to go to a very strict parochial school, where I got demerits on a daily basis. Passing notes, whispering, and being late to one’s desk were all causes for instant demerits. Three in a day got you detention. I served my time; as there was no late bus, my parents had to come pick me up late on those days.

“What do we have to do to get more demerits?”

“Does the person with the least number of demerits get a prize?”

As the questions came, I worked out the system out loud. One demerit equals ten minutes of time doing a chore, of my choosing, and most likely of the type they most disliked. The demerits would most likely be worked off on the weekend, but if I needed them to do something on a weeknight and their homework was done, it could be done then as well.

My nine-year-old finished her homework early and I asked her to take the baby while I cleaned up after dinner. She worked off her twenty minutes.

This could work out nicely! I am already thinking of all the things I can get them to do this weekend. I will be sure to let you all know how our new system works out!

Picture above:
Third prize winner of the National Messy Room Contest sponsored by Kodak.

Monday, March 3, 2008

My Next New Pair of Jeans…

...Will not be made by Levi’s.

I am not a fashionista. My favorite garb is a pair of jeans and a sweater or t-shirt, depending on the season. I was never loyal to brands either, until I met my husband.

Kevin is a no-nonsense, low maintenance, jeans-and-t-shirt kind of guy. In his profession he is able to wear his favorite jeans and sneakers all day long. This is one of the things he enjoys about being self-employed.

For some reason, he has always worn Levi’s jeans. It took a while for me to understand this. But after buying him a few different brands, I realized that Levi’s wore better than the other brands, and I never had to question whether or not a specific line would fit right. I started wearing them, and now that is all I have in my jeans drawer. Six pairs of jeans, in black and various shades of blue, all Levi’s.

I was in for a shock, therefore, when I read this month’s issue of Life News. It announced, “Life Decisions International (540-631-0390) has released its latest edition of “The Boycott List” (dated December 2007). Since publishing its prior list, Sears has been dropped from this list of companies funding Planned Parenthood Federation. A new edition to “The Boycott List” is Midas (mufflers). You can express your displeasure to Midas CEO Alan Feldman, 1300 Arlington Heights Rd., Itasca IL 60143. Whole Foods Market, Nike, Levi Strauss, and Clif Bar are among the corporations still on the list as contributors to Planned Parenthood.”

I have also been enamored of the Nike brand, since I started shopping at a local Nike outlet when I outfitted my children for their first season of track-and-field. No more Nike for us.

If you see us wearing these brands, it is because I simply cannot afford to replace all of our jeans and sneakers. However, I will not be buying these brands until these companies stop contributing to Planned Parenthood.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Excellent Blog Award

I am extremely honored to accept the nomination for Excellent Blog Award from Leticia Velasquez. She writes, “Elizabeth is so graceful and professional in her writing; she reminds me of the privilege of being both a mother and a writer.” This is exactly what I hope to accomplish through my blogging. Leticia has been a great inspiration to me and I consider her to be my writing mentor.

Over the past month, I have given great consideration to which bloggers to nominate for the Excellent Blog Award. Thank you to these wonderful writers for serving as an inspiration to others through your excellent writing.

DEAR HONOREES
By accepting this Excellent Blog Award, you have to award it to 10 or more people whose blogs you find Excellent Award worthy. You can give it to as many people as you want-even those that have received it already, but please award at least 10 people.

1. Leticia Velasquez for her daring and intelligent socio-political blog, Causa Nostrae Laetitiae, her beautiful blog devoted to her Christ-centered family, Cause of our Joy, The Catholic Down Syndrome Society for the advancement of the rights of children with Down Syndrome, as well as scientific research in this area, and the blog to help keep Christ in Christmas. , The True Meaning of Christmas.

2. “M” at The Sparrows Nest . Her writing is funny and encouraging. The web site is very pretty too!

3. “Ebeth”, at A Catholic Mom Climbing the Pillars. She combines scripture, poetry, and prose to gently speak about the Catholic family life.

4. Angie, who also hosts Catholic Mothers Online, at Many Little Blessings. Thank you for your lovely blog and your dedication to the Catholic online community!

5. Alice Gunther, at Cottage Blessings, whom I originally knew as host of Immaculate Holy Mother Homeschool Yahoo Group. That she is able to homeschool seven children and write to benefit the homeschool community and Catholics at large is an amazing feat!

6. Natalie, from British Columbia, Canada, hosts a blog called Bigger Families; Faces from the Past, where she features old photos of bigger families. She is looking for contributions from other family archives.

7. Michelle Harmon at Downblogger for her blog dedicated to children with Downs’ Syndrome.

8. Donna-Marie Cooper O-Boyle, whose writing I am so happy to have recently discovered. She is a prolific writer and mother of five, author of The Catholic Saints Prayer Book and The Heart of Motherhood, and has three uplifting blogs: Embracing Motherhood, Daily Donna-Marie: A Dose of Inspiration, and Moments of Inspiration from Your Favorite Saints

9. Alyice Edrich of “DM Speaks”. Alyice is owner of the award-winning Christian website The Dabbling Mum. She writes what she lives, in all the shoes she fills, to inspire writers, entrepreneurs, and parents in their vocations.

10. The host of award-winning bloggers over at Catholic Media Review:
Christine of The World – IMHO,
Jean of The Catholic Fire,
Jeff Miller of The Curt Jester ,
Jeff Vehige of Thursday Night Gumbo,
Jessica of A Catholic Mom’s Guide to Books,
Julie of Happy Catholic,
Leticia of all the blogs mentioned in #1,
March Hare of Mad Tea Party,
And Scott Nehring of Good News Film Reviews.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ave Maria Stella

I have never been up on the most popular names, and actually thought that my sister-in-law had made up the name AVA when she named her beautiful baby girl last year.

Therefore, I noticed with great interest that the name AVA had made the top ten list for the past five years.

Here is the chart for the most girls' names in the US in 2006:

1. Emily
2. Emma
3. Madison
4. Isabella
5. Ava
6. Abigail
7. Olivia
8. Hannah
9. Sophia
10. Samantha

My husband immediately pointed out that one of the famous bearers of this name was Adolf Hitler's mistress, Eva Braun. Evangeline is a longer form of the name.

I thought of the beautiful prayer, “Ave Maris Stella”. In this prayer, Ave is meant to show Mary was quite literally the reverse of Eva, or Eve (Adam’s wife and the first woman, who also was the first human to sin).

While AVA is the Latin form of the Hebrew Eve, a slight variation in the spelling yields “Ave”, which is Latin for “Hail”.

An interesting story tells of the promises to those who pray the Ave Maris Stella. During a riot in Rome, a mob came to the house where St. Bridget lived, intent on burning her Alive. She prayed to The Lord and asked if she should flee to safety.

Jesus advised her to stay; "It doesn't matter if they plot thy death. My power will break the malice of thy enemies. If Mine crucified Me, it is because I permitted it."

Our Blessed Mother added: "Sing as a group the AVE MARIS STELLA and I'll guard you from every danger."

Ave Maria Stella
(in both Latin and English)

Ave maria Stella
Dei Mater Alma
Atque Semper Virgo
Felix Coeli Porta

Hail Thou Star of the Ocean
Portal of the Sky
Ever Virgin Mother
Of The Lord Most High

Sumens Illud Ave
Gabrielis Ore
Funda Nos in Pace
Mutans Evae Nomen

Oh, by Gabriel's Ave
Uttered Long Ago
Eva's Name Reversing
Established Peace Below

Solve Vincia Reis
Profer Lumen Caecis
Malla Nostra Pelle
Bona Cuncta Posce

Break the Captives' Fetters
Light on Blindness Pour
All our Ills Expelling
Every Bliss Implore

Monstra te Esse Matrem
Sumat per te Preces
Qui pro Nobis Natus
Tulit esse Tuus

Show Thyself a Mother
Offer Him our Sighs
Who for us Incarnate
Did not Thee Despise

Virgo Singularis
Inter Omnes Mitis
Nos Culpis Solutos
Mites fac et Castos

Virgin of all Virgins
To Thy Shelter Take us
Gentlest of the Gentle
Chaste and Gentle make us

Vitam Presta Puram
Iter Para Tutum
Ut, Videntes Jesum
Semper Collaetemur

Still, as on we Journey,
Help our Weak Endeavor,
Till with Thee and Jesus
We Rejoice Forever

Sit Laus Deo Patri
Summo Cristo Decus
Spiritui Sancto:
Tribus Honor Unus.
Amen

Through the Highest Heaven,
To the Almighty Three
Father, Son and Spirit,
One Same Glory be.
Amen

Oil painting above:
Nest Builders by Ava Freeman

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Stair Climbing for Winter Indoor Exercise

“Do you not know that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for the temple of God, which you are, is holy.”
I Corinthians
3:16-17

Warning: While intended to inspire, this essay is not one that will make you feel good by passively reading without subsequent action.

I fell off the exercise wagon this winter. It must have happened sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and the effects are now undeniable.

It annoys me when women blame their weight gain on having kids. Sure, a nulliparous twenty-year-old can have a flat stomach without working out. We have to do crunches every day to net the same effect. A young woman might get away with skipping exercise for six months with little noticeable effect. Within a month, an over-thirty-five’s jeans no longer fit.

Age and multiparity surely have their effect on a woman’s metabolism. But with a purposeful attitude toward diet and exercise, the whole family can benefit from Mom’s judicial lifestyle practices. Wise shopping, cooking, and daily family walks can keep the entire family in good health and spirits.

Having had gestational diabetes in my third pregnancy, I took that as an “early warning” that I was at risk for developing diabetes later in life. This has been an added incentive for me to keep myself physically fit.

But when it gets cold outside, the excuses mount, and I am no exception. I may send the kids outside for daily exercise, but I really do not like winter weather. With young ones around, and no off-limits rooms, I do not consider weight equipment to be safe. And try working out to an exercise tape with a toddler – those kicks and arm movements may delight the baby but she is not going to give you a safety zone in which to work.

I have a few cardiovascular movements involving baby that can build muscle and get your heart rate going. One is crunches with baby sitting on your tummy. She loves this! And the extra weight on your stomach enhances the benefits of the movements. Another is holding the baby out in front of you and bringing her up over your shoulder level. This also is fun for her, and great for your upper body. And, throughout the day, simply holding your baby directly in front of you rather than on your hip will help keep that “pouch” in check.

Stair climbing is my favorite fallback. It requires no fancy equipment – just your time and motivation. This winter I had numerous excuses to not do this. Most importantly, the baby wants to follow. And when she is napping, I am afraid to wake her up.

But this week I realized I had to stop my continued denial of my winter weight gain. I realized I was relying on my stretchy jeans beyond week 4 of my cycle. During the months of January and February I did a colon cleanse, drank apple cider vinegar before meals, and ate organic grapefruits. They might have cleanse my system but did nothing for that five pounds of abdominal fat. There was no easy fix here. I really had no choice but to get back into exercising if I was to fit in my bridal dress for my sister’s wedding this summer.

So, yesterday, all excuses were put aside. I put the baby in for her nap, took off my shoes, and started running up and down the stairs. I did this ten times before running out of breath. It was a good start. After doing that, I felt so mentally energized that I sat down and sent off a poem to a magazine, and a book proposal to a publisher.

Today, I was determined to reach the benchmark of twenty, but knew I was not yet ready to do this consecutively. I did five, then continued at a slower pace as I accomplished other tasks. On each trip, I would jog around the floor looking for things that had to go either up or down the stairs. This gave me a little breather between the more demanding climbing. After number 15, I swept the kitchen floor. I ran up the stairs and cleaned my bathroom (16). I ran down, out the door, got the mail, and brought it up (17). I ran down for a glass of water, brought it up the computer and turned it on (18). Two more times and I was done. The housework was done and I was ready to get into writing mode!

The workout can be enhanced by doing warmup calisthenics beforehand, and a cool-down. As you get used to stair climbing, you can add light weights. Simply holding them while climbing boosts the cardiovascular and muscle-building effects of your movement.

If you live in a ranch or your stairs are under construction, you have a good excuse not to try this at home.

Stock Photo Above: Arc de Triomphe by Francis Toussaint

Friday, February 22, 2008

Security Objects

Ah, finally, a snow worthy of snow pants, snow boots, and snow shovels! We have about six inches of snow here on Eastern Long Island, with more continually falling. The kids have been enjoying this day immensely.

What an exciting week! My sister-in-law gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy yesterday afternoon. My husband went to visit her. We were really disappointed to find that the hospital would not admit children under the age of 14. So the children and I will have to wait to see the new little addition to our extended family. I finally got the new mom on the telephone this morning. “He’s perfect,” she said, in a tired but happy voice. Thanks to all of you who prayed! It just so happens that this was also my great-grandmother's birthday - a doubly special day!

I have one hundred Choose Life license plate tag holders on their way to my house. It will be my personal little mission to get these on the roads of New York this spring. (To order one for yourself, go to http://www.choose-life.org/)

The baby has been increasingly attached to her security objects over the past week. The number of things she needs to carry with her have with her have grown exponentially each day, so that there is barely enough room in my arms to carry her and everything else.

Number one is “night night”, her favorite white blanket. Then there is “mama”. That is what she has called baby dolls, since I first put one in her arms and made it say “mama” in a teeny little voice. Sometimes she also has to carry her second favorite doll, “mama” number two.

While nursing, she continually checks anxiously to make sure Night Night and Mama are still there. Why can’t she peacefully take her nourishment while snuggled into her mother, I wonder to myself.

I wonder if Our Heavenly Father looks down on us and wonders the same thing. He doesn’t want us to be anxious and worried about earthly things either. He wants us to fully partake in all the beauty he has given us, and leave our needs at his feet.

“Notice how the flowers grow. They do not toil or spin. But I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of them. If God so clothes the grass in the field that grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore. All the nations of the world seek for these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given you besides. Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy. For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.”
Luke 12:27-34

Above: An oil on canvas landscape by John Fabian Carlson, American artist, 1924

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lunar Eclipse

Tonight I let the children stay up late to watch the lunar eclipse. I called my siblings and parents to let them know. I thought it was so awesome that we could be hundreds of miles apart and yet partake together of God’s beautiful heavens.

Isn’t this a beautiful vision of God’s heavenly city…

The city had no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gave it light, and its lamp was the Lamb.Rev. 21:23

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

What Have I Been Up To?

While the kids are home on winter break, I have been spending all my spare time working on a local pro-life issue. I can use all your prayers on a specific campaign I am working on. More to follow if I succeed!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Half-Pint Valentine

I was up and out early this morning to catch up on my errands. It had been so cold and wet earlier this week that I had put off all my shopping until the sun was more promising.

As I opened up my jewelry box, my toddler said, “shee-shee”, and I knew was her attempt at saying, “Jesus”. My everyday-wear necklace is a crucifix on a strong gold chain, one that can withstand a little one’s loving tugs. Whenever she pulls on my cross, I say, “That’s Jesus”.

Her saying Jesus was a beautiful way to start the day!

We went to an electronics store for an item my husband and I had discussed earlier.

“Scary things,” he said, as the salesman almost tripped over the stroller.

“They call them kids, right?” he joked.

I told the young man that my purchase was to be a Valentine’s Day gift from me and my husband to each other.

Totally serious now, he confided that he and his wife had been married two years, and eventually they would get around to having a baby.

He was having some trouble finding the item. In the meantime, the baby was surprisingly patient. He kept making eyes at her. “She’s really cute,” he must have said a few times.

Did this twenty-minute transaction inspire this young man to discuss entering the world of parenthood with his wife on this St. Valentine’s Day?

I hope so.

This is the kind of everyday interaction that can touch individuals one-by-one and help to recultivate a Culture of Life in America.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

I got this nice e-mail in my inbox. It goes with the picture above...

'For God so loVed the world,
That He gAve
His onLy
BegottEn
SoN
That whosoever
Believeth In Him
Should Not perish,
But have Everlasting life.'
John 3:16

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Chocolate-covered Strawberries


Chocolate Covered Strawberries:
An EASY and HEALTHY Treat for St. Valentine's Day!
Melt chocolate.
Dip strawberries in chocolate.
Drop onto wax paper.
Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Both chocolate and strawberries are very high in anti-oxidants and good for setting a romantic mood!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Chocolate Snowballs

Fast, easy, and kid-proof!
A great treat for St. Valentine's Day or any occasion at all!

You will need:
One pound of dark chocolate melting bisques
One 7-oz. bag of presweetened coconut flakes
Wax paper

In a double boiler, melt the chocolate.
Remove from heat to a trivet.
Mix in the coconut flakes.
Using a teaspoon, drop snowballs onto wax paper.
Let dry about one hour, or refrigerate for faster drying time.

P.S. This is full of healthy anti-oxidants - so enjoy with a good conscience!

Picture and title by E.K. Miller

Monday, February 11, 2008

St. Valentine’s Coconut Macaroons


(1) 14 oz. Package of Sweetened Flake Coconut
(1) 14 oz. Can of Sweetened Condense Milk
2 tsp. Vanilla Extract
1 ½ tsp. Almond Extract
Optional: Food Coloring (I used 5 drops of McCormick Neon Pink)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In large bowl combine all ingredients. Mix well.
Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto generously greased baking sheets.
Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned.
Immediately remove from baking sheets. Macaroons will stick if allowed to cool on baking sheets.
Store loosely covered at room temperature.
This is a messy treat so I put each cookie in its own paper cupcake cup.
Makes about 4 dozen.

This is a classic recipe modified by Elizabeth; original picture by Elizabeth

Friday, February 8, 2008

Failing in our Fasts

On Ash Wednesday, the baby turned her dinner bowl over onto her head. She looked adorable in her silly “hat”.

Then I remembered what had been in the bowl.

“Flounder! Fish hair! Oh no! Bleah bleah!”

Having fish for dinner is no sacrifice at our house. It is a great excuse to browse in the fish department and try new ways to make it.

My eldest daughter said that she was going to give up dessert for Lent. “All except for Fridays,” she said, “because I already give up meat those days.”

I hated to be a stumbling block for her, but I had already begun a batch of chocolate chip cookies. This was part of my new strategy, based on some advice from my Nanna, to give the baby baked goods before bedtime. This has worked all week in filling her up so she can sleep through the night.

“Are you sure about that resolution, honey?” I asked.

“Well, since we had fish today maybe I can have the cookies tonight.”

Later, my husband decided he would give up his nightly pint of ice cream.

Thinking of the scripture, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord,” I thought, “Why don’t we all follow suit and give up ice cream together.”

After all, much as we love our ice cream, this was one that would not rely on our self control. As I do the shopping, all I had to do was not stock the freezer with ice cream for 40 days. I thought maybe this would be too easy for the family, and not count fully as a sacrifice.

But then I remembered that this is what we are to do on a daily basis to avoid sin. “Flee from evil,” we are commanded. We are to remove ourselves from situations that tempt us to sin.

I know I may seem to be contradicting my last post, in which I said food was not my first choice as a sacrifice. This is one way I can make it easier for my family to give up something for an entire 40 days. I am also encouraging everyone to make their own sacrifices in addition to that.

I announced my own, to give up “critical complaining”. The kids rejoiced until I explained further. This doesn’t mean I can’t ask the kids to clean their rooms. It just means I have to do it in a more constructive way, complimenting them first on what they have done, and gently asking them to improve their messy ways.

Within minutes of this proclamation, I had already broken my promise.

On Day Three of Lent, many of us are in a similar predicament. We have already cheated on our personal Fasts and wonder if we should just give up, or perhaps exchange one vow for a new and easier one.

St. Paul complained that he was unable to stop sinning. He failed what he set out to do, and wound up doing what he did not want to do. But did he give up and go back to his old self, Saul? No, he knew that “we have all come short of the Glory of God”, and he simply asked God to help him to fight his sinful nature.

So I encourage everyone to stick to their vows. If you break your fast, ask Christ to forgive you and give you the strength not to do it again. That is why He died for us, so that His Blood may continually wash away our sins. This is why we celebrate Lent.

Painting above:
“Landscape with the Temptation of Christ”
Augustin Hirschvogel, 1545. State Hermitage Museum.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Ash Wednesday: "What Should I Give Up?"


“Proclaim a fast,
call an assembly;
Gather the elders,
All who dwell in the land,
Into the house of the Lord, your God,
And cry to the Lord!”
Joel 2:14

A few years ago, while I was homeschooling, I belonged to a Little Flowers group. This was a little girl’s group that focused on the emulating the virtues of various saints. Back then I “only” had 3 children. Most of the other mothers had 4 or 5. They all had a wonderful sense of humor, and some of the things they said I am just “getting” now!

One of the mothers said I was on the cusp of having a large family, and that I would cross over to that membership when I had another one! Now I know what she meant.

On Ash Wednesday of that year, we all got together for a liturgy. One of the mothers said, “I think I ran out of things to give up!” Now I know what she meant.

Mothers of large families are used to sacrificing everything for their children on a daily basis. Most don’t drink, smoke, or otherwise carry on notoriously bad habits. Some will go without a winter coat so their little one could be better clothed. Most barely have time to brush their hair and put makeup on in the morning.

The question of what to give up has always been difficult for me. I have always had a sound nutritious diet and believe dessert has a healthy place for families. So food is not first on my mind when it comes to self-sacrifice.

In recent years, many ministers have encouraged people to make a positive sacrifice rather than a negative one. Instead of giving something up, they say, try to do more charity, pray more, and be a better person. I have seen this feel-good philosophy be embraced and see it as a “cop-out”.

Giving more to the poor, praying more, and doing charity work above and beyond what you give during the rest of the year should be a given, just like during Advent. Sacrificing something is hard. Christ gave of himself during his entire lifetime on earth and at the end He made the ultimate sacrifice.

He never complained about doing miracles. But when the end was near He had to ask His Father for help in what was to come. This type of sacrifice is the spirit they we are trying to emulate during Lent. We will never come close to what He gave, but we can enter into that realm in a small way.

I like to look at Lent as a chance to become more like Christ. I try to effect a permanent improvement rather than a temporary one. Giving up a vice for a short time is like going on a crash diet, rather than making a change in lifestyle that will last. Where I give up a vice, I try to fill it with a virtue.

One year I gave up yelling. This was really hard. I replaced yelling with calmness and gentleness. I told a friend to increase my accountability. When she asked me how I was doing, I could honestly say I hadn’t yelled – much – and thought I could make a permanent decrease in the amount of yelling I did.

Some positive giving can be good for everyone. You can clean out your closets of all the clothing you and your children do not wear, and donate it. You can clear out your glassware cabinet of extra cups, utensils, etc., and donate it it to a thrift store or food pantry. Clear out your shelves of books you don’t plan on reading again or that the kids have outgrown, and bring them to your library if they have a recycled book program. Have the children go through their toys and stuffed animals, and donate them.

You feel good for clearing out clutter, as well as for the fact that someone else can make good use of the stuff. All that “stuff” has an effect of weighing down your spirit. Remember that the disciples were only allowed to keep one coat.

Praying more is something we can all do, and should do, and not just for Lent. (“Pray without ceasing.”)

I have tried to be encouraging here without any pretence at self-righteousness. “But take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.” (Matthew 6:1)

Those who are excused from fast or abstinence:
"Besides those outside the age limits, those of unsound mind, the sick, the frail, pregnant or nursing women according to need for meat or nourishment, manual laborers according to need, guests at a meal who cannot excuse themselves without giving great offense or causing enmity and other situations of moral or physical impossibility to observe the penitential discipline."

To find out all about Ash Wednesday click here.

To find out about the 40 Days for Life campaign click here.

Painting above:
Christ in the Wilderness Attended by Angels
Charles de La Foss
1280s-90s
oil painting

Monday, February 4, 2008

Gestational Diabetes: A Book Proposal

I am preparing a book proposal to submit to a publisher of informational health books. My working title is “Gestational Diabetes: What to do if you have it, and natural ways to reduce your chances of having it in the future”. This is the sort of title I wish I could have found in the library during my third pregnancy and in preparation for my fourth pregnancy.

It came as quite a shock when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the third trimester of my third pregnancy. I had always exercised and had excellent nutritional habits. I was 29 years old, had never been overweight, and had no family history of diabetes.

Now I had to follow a special diet. I roamed the aisles of the food store for over an hour that first week, studying food labels and shaking my head in dismay at my limited choices. I made up a spreadsheet, upon which I diligently recorded everything I ate. I took my blood sugar upon waking and after each meal.

I was given a book with dietary guidelines, but many things I had to find out on my own. I soon noticed certain foods were causing my sugars to be elevated. Tomato sauce and rice were the main culprits. I learned how to make my own tomato sauce, and avoided rice. I also realized that if I made my own oatmeal cookies I could have one with a glass of milk without causing my sugars to go up.

My nurse practitioner was pleased at the recorded blood sugars. My son was born a day before his due date, completely naturally, at a weight of 9 lb. 13 oz.

My first child was 7 lb. 6 oz.; second child was 8 lb. 13 oz. “Does this mean if I have another child he or she will be 11 pounds?” I asked my NP at my postnatal checkup.

“Not necessarily. But you should know that the woman’s body is made to be able to deliver that size baby no problem.”

“Is there anything I can do to prevent having gestational diabetes in the future?”

“Not that I know of. But your sugars were in such good control that I wonder if you ever did have it in the first place.”

I looked in vain for a book that would address the prevention of gestational diabetes. Nothing. I did find little bits on GD in various pregnancy books, and scoured the internet for the original studies. What I did find were several correlations suggesting a diet high in fiber and magnesium, among other nutrients, as well as exercise, tended to lower a woman’s chances of contracting GD.

I went with the information I had in preparation for my fourth pregnancy. When I mentioned the data I had gathered, my NP said she wasn’t sure if it would work, but it would not do any harm to be circumspect in my diet. She did say magnesium was excellent as a preventative for several pregnancy related disorders, and was surprised it was not included in my prenatal vitamin.

My file was red-flagged as “high risk”. My NP informed me that she would be sending me for an early sugar tolerance test. Assuming the worst, she had me skip the one-hour and go straight for the three-hour test.

Now during this time I was avoiding all refined sugars, baked goods, and prepared foods. I was eating a high-fiber diet, complete with lots of vegetables, whole-grains, protein, and some fruit. My fear of GD was high enough to keep me in complete control. I actually found that my appetite was fully sated and I had no food cravings whatsoever!

It was wintertime, so I took out several exercise DVDs designed specifically for pregnancy. One had me dancing to salsa music. It was fun, and I felt good! Weather permitting, the kids and I went for a daily one-mile walk around the block after school.

I passed the first test at five months, and the second test at seven months. My baby was a healthy 8 lb. 3 oz. Amazingly, within a week of delivery, I was only ten pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight!

My book will outline what I learned through my own personal experience, and will be heavily documented with methodologically sound research.

I am looking to incorporate the experiences of other women out there who found ways to deal with their GD naturally, and/or who were able to have a subsequent pregnancy without contracting GD. Any correspondence would be kept completely confidential. Any details that could be provided will be helpful. Age, race, number of pregnancies, other risk factors, and pregnancy outcome (health of baby and mother, weight of baby, etc.), are some important details.

Correspondence may be sent to me at my personal email address.

Find out about “The Mystery Painting at Hampton Court” here.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Separation Anxiety and Naptime Refusal – RESOLUTION! - Part IV


My now-eighteen-month toddler has finally resumed her normal night and naptime schedule. We went out for a quick errand at 11:30 AM today and she promptly fell asleep on the return trip. I took her shoes and hat off and carried her to her crib. An hour-and-a-half later, she remains in a deep sleep. I am so thankful!

She goes to sleep at 7:00 PM and often wakes up at around midnight. We have found that she quickly goes back to sleep if my husband goes in to see her. He cheerfully goes in, tells her to go back to sleep, and she does! This is in line with several parenting books that advise the non-primary caregiver put a child to bed when there is a problem with separation anxiety.

If, on occasion, she wakes up in the wee-morning hours, I can nurse her back to sleep, as I always did before the height of her sleep crisis.

The only problem I have is that she has been waking up earlier than she used to. Last year, her normal wakeup time was around 9:00 AM. This worked great for me and my husband. We normally work on paperwork for our home-based business until around 11 PM, after the children have all gone to bed, then watch television for one hour before going to bed. A 9:00 AM wakeup time gives us a full eight hours of sleep. I could go to bed at 10:00 PM, but then I would be missing out on quality time with my husband.

This new wakeup time only offers me six hours of sleep. When I go in to see her, she is standing at the crib rail closest to the door, holding her “nigh-night” blanket, ready for me to pick her up. If we were in the army, I would tell her, “At ease!”

I am hoping that she will be able to resume her old habit of playing in her crib for a while, rather than waking up crying for me. It has been suggested that I use “blackout shades”, but I do not think this is the problem. Although the older children make every effort to go about quietly in the morning, I do believe she is sensing the activity in the house.

Still, six hours of unbroken sleep is better than what I was getting. And I am more thankful than ever for the naptime that I always had taken for granted! With her newfound sense of independence, I also have learned how to get more things done during the baby’s awake time, giving me more free time to read and write.

To put this whole situation into proper perspective, parents with older children look adoringly at my little one and say they wish theirs were little again.

“It is vain for you to rise early and put off your rest at night,
to eat bread earned by hard toil –
all this God gives to his beloved in sleep.”
Psalm 127:2

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Little People Must Write to be “Heard”

I subscribe to the popular mainstream, liberal newspaper on Long Island, Newsday. I feel I have little choice in the matter, as they have a virtual monopoly on the local news. The writing is mediocre to excellent, depending on the columnist. From time to time over the years, I have cancelled my subscription after reading an outrageous, one-sided story. Within weeks I was back again, missing my daily morning read with my coffee.

After reading the same paper for many years, with careful analysis one may recognize the bias behind many of the headlines, as well as the details or lack of details that go to back up those stories. The educated person knows not to believe everything he or she hears or reads, even if it comes from the government or some other well-documented source. When a scientific study is noted, one should keep in mind that the parameters of the study are not detailed; the specific source should be found and read. One also should know that one study is just one study. There may be many studies that run counter to its results.

Most of the people who get their news from the internet already know to be skeptical and not to receive all their news from one source. Hopefully, conservatives would not just listen to conservative talk radio, or they would just hear what they want to, to back up what they already believe. I also read Suffolk Life, a weekly local paper with a conservative editor and excellent editorials.

Having to keep tabs on my infant, I am not able to follow what is being said in most of the blogs. (I do keep up on my sister’s blog and the numerous blogs of my well-educated and widely written friend Leticia Velasquez.) Nor do I find much time to sit in front of the news programs; when I do, I watch Fox News. I find the print media much easier to fit into my lifestyle. I can carry a newspaper into the bathroom while my toddler plays in the bathtub, or outside while she runs around, or into a doctor’s office, etc.

I have just finished reading a book claiming that the government and big business virtually own the media. According to the author, the little guy no longer has freedom of speech. On the contrary, I have evidence that the opposite is true.

Today’s newspaper carried two pro-life letters to the editor, in response to recent stories printed in that paper. Here is the proof that anyone, regardless of education, credentials, or whom you know, can write his or her opinion on virtually any subject and have it read by thousands of people.

The “little person” can bring subjects to awareness that many might not normally think about. For example, Suffolk Life regularly features opinions on rights to hunt or ride off-road recreational vehicles. I do neither; and yet, I feel my horizons are widened by the knowledge that people who would like to pursue these activities are being stifled.

People also know that what is presented as “fact” is also just well-documented popular opinion. The most obvious examples are the contrarion established views on dieting, which have us disbelieving what is the best way to lose weight. One decade it is calories, then it is dietary fat, etc. People are not stupid. They know to take the “news” with a grain of salt.

A well-written letter to the editor is a good way to remind the public of evidence to opposite points of view. Regardless of the bias of a specific paper, the owner wants to appear to give both sides to a story. And so, if a letter is written criticizing a journalistic point-of-view, there is a good chance it will be printed.

The influence of the blogs on the mainstream media and popular opinion is obvious. Please do not overlook the power of an op-ed piece or letter to the editor in your local newspaper.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Eighteen Months

During these difficult few weeks I had to sometimes remind myself that motherhood was truly a divine gift. “Could one die from lack of sleep?” I wondered. What on earth was I thinking, having four children?

I have heard mothers mocking the parenting textbooks, saying there was nothing they could learn from them. But at the turning of eighteen months my child has been a classic textbook example of the age. Knowing that all babies (and their parents) must resolve these stages; being given various tools to deal with them, albeit the advice is sometimes conflicting; being reminded that all babies express their needs in their own way, according to temperament and personality; all these things I think are empowering to us as parents.

Eighteen months. The coming in of the upper incisors, accompanied by lack of appetite and changing sleep habits (in this case, the apparent dearth of a need for it). Separation anxiety at its height, accompanied by the need for a comforting blanket, whining, clinging, and the related difficulty sleeping alone. The frustration of understanding language and yet not being able to fully express it.

Prayers came from across the continent, from family with whom the spiritual bond is so close that the need for prayer is received by these supplicants without my asking. And at the moment of highest necessity it is felt, like a trickle of water in a desert. A moment of grace is all around me: before me, behind me, beside me, and above me.

There was light at the end of the tunnel. And in that light I found myself again. A newly born confidence in my relationship with God, self, and others – especially, those in my charge as a Mother.

And at the same time, my little one seemed to strike her own required balance of dependence-independence, realizing her own competency and ability to communicate her needs. The sleep pattern is still resolving, giving me just enough to feel on top of things, but she has become quite cheerful and winsome during her waking hours.

It is like the quiet after the storm, when the earth seems shiny and new. One appreciates its beauty all the more for having weathered it.

“God, my Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet swift as those of hinds
and enables me to go upon the heights.”
Habakkuk 3:19


Painting above:
Mary Cassatt, Little Girl in a Blue Armchair
1878; Oil on canvas;
National Gallery of Art in Washington D.C.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Separation Anxiety and Naptime Refusal - Part III

If I complete this post, you may assume I have achieved some reasonable amount of success in the sleep stand-off between me and my toddler. I had considered waiting until I had triumphed completely and reestablished a normal sleeping routine for several days, but as I have yet to find a complete account of my problem described anywhere else I thought it better to publicly share the process.

I called the pediatrician’s yesterday, stating that I had a question about a change in my child’s sleeping patterns. I was immediately connected with the doctor.

“How are you?” he cheerily asked.

“Not so good, Dr. The baby is turning 18 months old this week, the incisors are coming in, and she is refusing to go to sleep. She will not nap at all during the day, and at night she will only sleep for a few hours at a time. When I lay her in her crib, she clings to me and screams,” I summarized the problem.

He listened, and then I asked, “Is this normal?”

“This happens sometimes,” he answered, “There is one thing you can try. Give her a teaspoon of Benadryl at night.”

“Thank you,” I happily replied.

Of course in the past week I had wondered if there was such thing as a sleep medication for babies. Surely if there was everyone would have heard about it. I was glad to hear there was something considered safe to give.

Still, I had some reservations about giving any kind of cold or allergy medicine to an under-two, especially considering the current debate among pediatricians that has resulted in many children’s medications being taken off the shelves. So, upon purchasing the bottle of Children’s Benadryl, I warily asked the pharmacist if there was any reason I should avoid giving the medication to my child.

“How old is she? How much does she weigh?” she asked while studying at the ingredients.

“18 months, about 25 pounds,” I replied.

“There are only 25 mL in a teaspoon. As long as you don’t give any more than that, there are no side effects other than sleepiness,” she assured me.

I questioned her about the current debate regarding cold and allergy medication being given to babies.

“That is because people were over-medicating,” she replied.

(Of course, I highly caution any parent or guardian reading this to consult your pediatrician before giving any over-the-counter medication to a child under age 6.)

Armed with a new tool in my battle against her (our) sleeplessness, I put her to bed at her usual time of 7:00 PM. As usual, she went to sleep at that time with little problem. When she awoke at around midnight, fully alert, I gave her the teaspoon of Benadryl before nursing her.

When I lay her in her crib, instead of coming to with an anxious jolt as she has been doing of late, she settled herself calmly. She slept until 5:30 AM.

Today, at the normal naptime of 12:00 noon, I made up a sleeptime area on her bedroom floor. This consisted of a large blanket to lay on, a large Winnie-the-Pooh to lay her head on, and her favorite blanket. I nursed her to sleep on the floor.

The idea here was to re-establish her normal routine and eliminate her fear of being alone in the crib, before trying to have her nap in the crib again.

I waited until she was in a deep sleep. Carefully, over the course of about five minutes, millimeter-by-millimeter, I removed myself from her side. I replaced myself with a large stuffed cat.

I tiptoed over the squeaky floor to the door and cautiously closed the squeaky door.

I unplugged my printer before turning on the computer. The printer is very loud when it turns itself on during the booting-up process.

A half-hour later, she is still asleep! A mini-triumph!

[Author's post-note Jan. 31: The Benadryl was used for exactly three nights before her normal sleeping habits were naturally restored.]

Above: "Virgin Adoring the Sleeping Christ Child"
Sandro Botticelli, circa 1485
Tempera on canvas, 122 x 80.5 cm

Monday, January 21, 2008

Separation Anxiety and Naptime Refusal – Part II

The problem of my toddler's "sleep strike", as outlined in my last post, has persisted for one week now. Things have gone from bad to worse, but I am optimistic that I will find the solution in due time.

Last night, after refusing a daytime nap, she slept from 7:00 PM to midnight. I made several attempts to nurse her to sleep, which always resulted in her crying when I put her down in her crib. Finally, at 6:00 AM, I nursed her to sleep and we both got two hours of rest.

Today she would not nap and was very tired all day. Fortunately, my kids had no school and I was able to rest on the couch during the afternoon. I put her to bed at 6:00 PM and am hoping not to have a repeat of last night! (As I go to post at about 10:00 PM I hear her waking again and I am thinking about how I will handle it tonight.)

Upon a close examination of her teeth, I found that one incisor had just come in and another was on its way.

My hypothesis is that the first incisor was the cause of the first night’s crying, and that if we keep to our regular routine of at least attempting her regular naptime it will eventually be restored after the teething pain is gone.

By her regular eighteen-month checkup, which is next Monday, the teeth should both be in and I should have a feel about whether this is going to be a long-term problem or not.

In the meantime, I am fortunate to have the support of several females in the family, who offered emotional support as well as some (albeit conflicting) practical advice.

Dr. Spock has some real gems in his parenting book, which is difficult to navigate but quite resourceful. I also found some useful advice at kellymom.com

Painting above by Mary Cassatt,
Mother and Child against a Green Background (Maternity)
1897 (40 Kb); pastel on beige paper mounted on canvas; Musee d'Orsay, Paris

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Separation Anxiety and Naptime Refusal – Part I

I know there will be a Part II to this, at the very least, as this has been the major ongoing issue ruling my life over the past month.

My youngest baby never suffered from stranger or separation anxiety at nine months, the typical first peak. I thought myself lucky. I thought perhaps her being constantly around older siblings had effectively immunized her against the fear of strangers, much as breast milk immunized her against most of the germs the kids brought home.

But at the eighteenth month, the second average peak of separation anxiety, which just never occurred with my first three, hit us like a hurricane without warning. One day she was this happy-go-lucky toddler, happy to finally be up and about on two legs, refusing to say “mama”; and the next she was clinging to “nigh-night”, her favorite white blanket with tassles, and whining to be picked up by “mama” whenever she was in sight.

This started when we were in Florida for Christmas. I am sure the change of atmosphere brought it on. Then we left her for a full day while we went to Disney World. She reportedly was good for my grandparents, but the next day she apparently was quite afraid that I was going to pull another disappearing act. This is also when she started to be attached to the white blanket and calling it “nigh-night” (which is what we say when we put her to bed).

Now I must say I have been quite a stickler about naptime ever since she was born. She would never take a long nap as a newborn, so we settled into a one-time nap of two hours, from noon to two in the afternoon, pretty early on. I stubbornly refused to make plans during these hours, and even managed to maintain that time during our vacation.

As soon as I nursed her, I would carry her into her bed, say “nigh-night”, and kiss her. As recently as last week, she would say “nigh-night” back, wave, and sometimes even blow me a kiss. Then she would fall asleep within a minute or two. So it came rather as a shock to have her refuse her nap.

The naptime refusal started after I left her for several hours with my husband this past Saturday, to attend a baby shower. That night she gave me some trouble going to bed. The next night was worse – and I made the mistake of picking her up and bringing her downstairs for a while – quite rewarding. Monday she hollered when I put her down for a nap.

Finally, I brought her into my bed, where I nap-nursed her and she slept next to me for an hour. I put her to bed a half hour early that night and she whimpered for a few minutes, but then fell asleep okay.

Tuesday, she again refused to nap. I let her holler for a while, then brought her to my bed. She snuggled in for a while but stubbornly refused to sleep. I was pretty upset at this, having a list of things to do during her naptime. All these things would have to go undone. She and I were quite exhausted early in the evening. I put her to bed a full hour early – myself as well.

Today, Wednesday, was a repeat of Monday. She hollered for an hour – this was unavoidable, as I had to clean up a broken dish in the kitchen and scrupulously clean the entire floor to make sure there were no broken pieces anywhere. I brought her to my bed, nap-nursed her, and again she slept for an hour. She was cheery after that, and we stuck to our usual bedtime of 7:00. There were no problems here.

Having received my degree in psychology, I think back laughingly to my reading of case studies as a student. I can imagine myself reading mine and thinking critically about the “conditioning” that must be going on between this mother and this child. It was so easy in those days, with no children, to think theoretically about the best way to modify a child’s behavior!

How different when this real, living, breathing creature takes over your own life and you have that sometimes illogical feeling of parental love. The Cognitive Psychologists might call it the “Organism” factor that the Behaviorists had ignored between the Condition and the Response. I think of the scripture that asks what a father would do if his child asks for an egg – would he give him a scorpion instead? When a baby is asking for her mama, should she be ignored? Would that not be incorporated into her psyche, leading her to suppress her feelings because they were not responded to?

I welcome your thoughts on this as I continue my attempts to break this cycle. As my husband once commented, it is not just the baby that needs the nap. It’s Mom too.

To be continued. . .

Mother and Child by Mary Cassatt
1888 (40 Kb); pastel on paper; Art Institute of Chicago

Monday, January 14, 2008

A Toddler and "The Water Horse"

Two weeks ago the Catholic school had a half day for teachers’ conferences. I love those days because I can take the kids wherever we like to go without the crowds experienced on days off shared with the public schools. If there is a movie we all want to see, I usually save it for one of those days.

We went to see The Water Horse. We have always been fascinated by tales of the Loch Ness Monster. I for one believe the explanations of an ancient sea monster (Plesiosaurus, perhaps) that used to be in the open sea and eventually became land-locked. Certainly Noah was not instructed to bring sea monsters into the ark. The creature could have become displaced by the high waters and then left in Loch Ness.

Incidentally, my attention had originally been gotten by an advertisement that read “The Chronicles of Narnia” as a subtitle. I thought perhaps this was a renaming of The Voyage of the Sea Treader. The advertisement was misleading, and I eventually found out it was created by the same company that produced The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.

We ran into two other families from our school – happily, at first, but later this would turn to my embarrassment.

The older children and their friend all fit in a small row on right-hand side of the theatre. I sat across the aisle, on the left-hand side, where the seats were joined in pairs. At first the baby was amused by her seat and her animal crackers. But this did not last long. Whether it was the darkness, the loudness of the movie, the sea monster, or just the fact that she was supposed to stay in one spot, she soon became very upset.

She ran into the aisle; I caught her. Repeatedly. I tried to take her into the back of the theatre. She ran into the aisle, tripped over herself, and started to roll down the aisle – right past the friends from school. By the halfway point of the movie I gave up and decided to watch the movie from behind the door in the back of the theatre, through the little window.

I could see the picture fine and missed out on the dialogue, which I figured was not too important anyway in an action-adventure-fantasy. I was a little lost on what was happening with the army, and more than a little perplexed by my toddler’s behavior.

I later found out that my friend Leticia Velasquez had reviewed the movie on her new blog, Catholic Media Review. Had I previewed her review I would have been forewarned that the movie was a little too loud, dark, and scary for little ones. I probably would not have listened – but then I would only have myself to blame.

I also later discovered that some theatres have “family-friendly” morning showings specifically for mothers with toddlers. The lights are not so low, the volume is lower for sensitive ears, and changing tables are available. (On Long Island, Holtsville’s Island 16 is one such theatre.)

Catholic Media Review, an alternative to the USCCB Office of Film and
Broadcasting Site, was co-created by Julie at Happy Catholic, Jean at Catholic
Fire, Christine at The World . . .IMHO, Scott Nehring at Good News
Film Reviews, and Leticia Velasquez at Cause of Our Joy.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

A Shower of Happiness

Today my daughters and I attended a baby shower for my sister-in-law. It was in a very classy restaurant, which was well-attended by about sixty friends and family members.

I am astounded by all the wonderful new products that have come out, many that are helpful for attachment parenting, including: slings, co-sleepers, and breast pumps (which I believe help Mom to be attached to Baby in a physical way even while at work).

It took several vans to load up the presents to be taken to the mother-to-be’s home. I remarked to the father-to-be, “All this for one little person!”

I think of Jesus, who was brought into this world with nothing but swaddling clothes. Not even a crib in which to rest. I do believe we can think of Mary’s situation with humility and be all the more thankful for the modern comforts we are afforded.

Pictured above are the white chocolate lollipops I made for the shower favor. The details are made from colored white chocolate wafers. I tried out the new squeeze tubes for drawing on the colors. In the end, the tubes melted and I wound up using my old tried-and-true method of using a paint brush. For the last few dozen, I ran out of time and just filled the molds with white chocolate. These looked nice also, and tasted great. By the way, white chocolate is not really chocolate.

Please take a moment to say a prayer for Baby, who is due Feb. 22.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Lightheartedness

When my mother called last night, I gave her little chance to tell me why she had called. Barely pausing to take a breath, I told her how my nine-year-old had had a fever all weekend and my six-year-old had thrown up in his bed and slept in it.

“And yet you tell me this so lightheartedly,” she mused.

I could not explain my carefree attitude except by the grace of God. “Laughter is the heart’s best medicine,” Proverbs tells us, and somehow the capacity for laughter had been sent me as a much-need gift overnight.

Certainly I was not seeing things so well early on Sunday. Halfway to church, we realized we had left the offering envelope at home. After dropping my husband and the older children at church, I went back to retrieve it. Coming in halfway through the mass, as soon as I found a seat the baby started acting up. She wanted every hymnal in the pew. She wanted to stack them up a certain way, then put them back, then hold them all at once. If she did not get her way, she would shriek. Even half a mass was too long for me.

Once she was tucked in for her nap, we started a project I had not looked forward to. We had left the Christmas tree and lights up until January 6, and my husband was anxious to take them down. I served lunch and retrieved the Christmas boxes from the garage to get them set up. Then I went food shopping.

When I got home, the lights were down and away, and the tree was at the curb. My husband had vacuumed and swept. All the ornaments were neatly laid on the dining room table. And yet I grumbled. Each of the decorations had its own box, which it had to be laid in precisely. Then each individual box had to be packed into a larger box in such a way as to maximize space and minimize breakage possibilities. The chore seemed so depressing to me and I moped through it for hours.

After the children were in bed, I noticed the sap that had dripped across the floor. I got the floor cleaner out and started polishing the dining room floor – something only done when it becomes obviously necessary. Then I swept and cleaned the kitchen floor. My husband ripped up old boxes and put the packed boxes back into the garage. He saved Mary from accidentally being thrown away (!).

Finally, exhausted, we lay on the couch and watched some television. Looking around me, the cleanliness and absence of clutter calmed my spirits. I peeked in on my son, who had conked out before changing into his pajamas.

My husband turned on an infomercial and my ears perked up as a medical author discussed natural remedies for some ailments some of my relatives suffer from. “Should we order it?” I asked jokingly. Surprisingly, my husband answered in all serious, “Go ahead!”

We had never ordered anything over the telephone before, and I was so pleased at having this gracious permission offered, that I picked up the telephone. The customer representative soon started in on a series of related offers. Was I interested in a weight loss book in the series? A smoking cessation book? Free trials for three magazines? A shopping savings club? No thank you, no thank you, went my “broken record”.

My husband was nearly in stitches listening to my end of the conversation. Finally, “we have made arrangements for you and your family to spend six days and seven nights in sunny Florida,” and I broke into peals of laughter. “No thank you, we just got back!” I answered, “Have a nice night!”

Monday morning, my son came to me in silent tears. I asked my husband to help me discover the cause. He looked into our son’s room and informed me he had thrown up. So at 6:00 AM I started running a bath for him, stripping the bed, and disinfecting.

“Mommy, my head hurts,” said my nine-year-old. She was running a fever of 102 degrees.

“I guess you’re the only one of us going to school today,” I told my eldest.

Once I heard the baby wake up, I started to steam clean the rug in my son’s room. When I was done, I went in to get her. She had fallen back asleep – and stayed that way until after noon! I went downstairs and joined the sick children, who lay on the couch watching television. I caught up on some sleep.

My son had a little table with Cheerios and grape Pedialyte. Of course, he knocked it over. The steam cleaner came down the stairs and now my living room floor is really clean.

Concerned about my daughter’s state-mandated English-Language-Arts exam, which was to take place starting Tuesday, I called the school secretary. She let me know that a child must be fever-free for 24 hours before returning to school, and that a makeup period would be provided for her. After all the preparation that had gone into this test, she was going to miss the first day. What else could I do but laugh?

It was unseasonably warm, so we all went outside for a few hours. It was very pleasant. Once the baby was up, she was happy to stretch her legs outdoors.

It definitely could have been worse, so for what it was I had to be thankful.

I turned in at midnight, saying I’d been up since 6:00. Then I corrected myself, remembering my morning nap. “Oh yeah,” I said, laughing aloud, “I’ve really only been up since 11:00!” I kept chuckling until I finally fell asleep.

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
Proverbs 17:22


Pictured above: Saint Francis of Assissi, whose lightheartedness was contagious with both children and animals.

Friday, January 4, 2008

"Emily's Hope", by Ellen Gable

“Emily’s Hope” by Ellen Gable is a semi-autobiographical novel about a young woman, Emily, who, in the course of doing a genealogical high school project, discovers the spotty life history of her great-grandmother, Katharine. Her curiosity continues as she explores the family albums into her forties.

During my reading of the first few chapters I feared the novel would be overly preachy. However, it is soon revealed that the physically innocent Emily is in her heart no saint, and has only remained a virgin for lack of opportunity. She falls prey to the liberal attitudes of the 1970s regarding premarital sex, contraception, and abortion, believing all the above are up to the individual and not harmful to society. As she embarks on her first romantic experiences, I found myself in suspense, hoping that she would still keep herself for marriage.

Emily has the great fortune of falling in love with a spiritual young man who lovingly convinces her that they should wait for marriage and practice Natural Family Planning. The book takes the reader through a long and difficult long-distance courtship and one hopes the young lovers will be able to continue practicing self-restraint. Do they or don’t they? That is part of the page-turning drama, which I will not spoil for the reader.

The chapters alternate between the stories of Emily and Katharine. Katharine does not present as a likable character. Cold, adulterous, and multi-abortive, one wonders what she could possibly have in common with the warm and thoughtful young Emily. Emily discovers with shock that the “BPO-Midwife” entries in her great-grandmother’s ledger refer to a turn-of-the-century practice among midwives of “bringing on the period” by abortion.

As Katharine begins to age, the reader is able to view her choices with more sympathy in light of the circumstances of her life. Emily does not condemn her ancestress, but forgives her poor choices and prays that she has received grace enough to enjoy the afterlife with her Maker.

The stories of both women show how intricately tied together with spiritual well-being is the way in which we use the gift of sexuality that God has given us. Emily and her husband demonstrate that with Natural Family Planning comes love and joy in its fullest. Several quotes from Papal Encyclicals may lead the reader to explore the original texts for themselves. Included at the end of the book are prayers and references that give hope to those who wish to renew their purity, who have had an abortion, or who have suffered a miscarriage.

As a subheading underneath each chapter number is a reference to a scripture, which the author leaves to the reader to look up for oneself. I must confess that, during my initial reading of the book, I was too curious to find out what happens next to the characters to stop and pick up my Bible. However, upon completing the book I looked up each reference and found that each one was carefully picked in a way that would set the tone of each chapter. I wish now that I had kept my Bible by my side while reading the novel through the first time.

There are some mildly descriptive scenes in which both Emily and Katharine miscarry due to tubal pregnancies. The purposes of these sections are not for shock value, but rather to convey the emotional effects on each of the women. Also portrayed are a few near-death experiences as well as a young woman who dies due to an abortive attempt. For this reason, I would not recommend this book for the young, innocent teen. However, lest I scare off the more mature but squeamish reader (as I would describe myself), I will say these scenes are depicted delicately, with much sympathy toward the victims of these tragedies.

Heartbreakingly, Emily and Jay lose six children due to tubal pregnancies and miscarriages. However, they do have at least five sons and hope for more. One of the scripture references is one that I think summarizes the tone and purpose of the book. “But not only that - we even boast of our afflictions! We know that affliction makes for endurance, and endurance for tested virtue, and tested virtue for hope. And this hope will not leave us disappointed, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5, NAB)

I can see this text as being highly valuable in preparation for marriage. I would recommend reading it together with older teens as part of the discussions of courtship and how best to respect and enjoy God’s gift of sexuality in the context of marriage. Also for older couples who may find something lacking in their relationship, this book may convince them that Natural Family Planning could result in their experiencing marriage in the fullness and joy intended by God.

For more information or to order a copy of the book, go to Full Quiver Publishing (www.fullquiverpublising.com) or write to:
Full Quiver Publishing
P.O. Box 244
Pakenham, Ontario KoA 2Xo
Canada
You may email the author at:
Info@fullquiverpublishing.com

This review has also been posted at a new blog:
"Catholic Media Review:
Shining the Light of Christ on Everything the Media Does"

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Christmas in Florida

We just got home from a long-awaited vacation to visit my grandparents in Florida. Until I met my husband, I used to visit them annually. Then I got busy with college… then with marriage… then with having babies. My husband being self-employed as a process server, it is very difficult for him to take time off. But between Christmas and New Year’s is the slowest week of the year in the legal field; so back in July we decided we would finally make the 20-hour drive with the four children.

One of the challenges I face every December is preparing for Christmas and my daughter’s birthday at the same time. So I went ahead and had her invite two friends to sleep over the weekend after Thanksgiving. That got the party out of the way so all I had to do was make a cake for our private family celebration.

The KISS (“Keep it simple, stupid”) principle rules with me. I am constantly streamlining my life so that I can spend my time on the most important things. I turned down several party invitations and asked some friends and family if we could skip the gift exchange this year. I took care of Christmas cards, shopping, and baking as early as possible.

I used to scoff at people’s preprinted picture cards, but this year it was a real boon. I took a picture when the kids were dressed up on Thanksgiving, uploaded the digital picture into Walmart’s picture machine, and ordered the cards. Two days later I picked them up, addressed them, and put them out. That was simple.

Shopping I did mainly online. I was looking for small things because I thought I would be packing them in the car to be opened Christmas morning in Florida. I got collectible coins from the U.S. Mint. They range in prices starting at $3.50 on up to whatever you want to spend. I got them a few audio CD’s and video DVD’s that they could use during the car trip. Books are a given. Other gifts I picked up while doing my regular errands over the month.

A large box of mechanical pencils and a few boxes of candy-canes were sufficient for the treats St. Nicholas leaves in their stockings during Advent. (This may seem excessive, but it helps with the waiting for Christmas if I tell them St. Nick will only come each night if they are good, their rooms are clean, and they go to bed on time.)

Baking for the kids’ class Christmas parties was easy using a cookie press. The weekend before our departure, I made a double batch and had the kids help me press out and decorate several dozen small cookies. Then I divided them up equally onto six styrofoam plates: three for the kids’ class parties, one for my next door neighbor, one for company, and one for us (the burnt and funny-looking ones). I double-wrapped them with cellophane so they would keep until the last Friday before school vacation, when they would have their parties.

How do you celebrate Christmas in a traditional manner when you are not home for Christmas? This year I felt I really had to focus on Advent because we were departing from our usual routine. A friend made the observation that Mary and Joseph were traveling when Jesus was born – so why couldn’t we celebrate Christmas on the road? I have written in my December posts about all I learned about celebrating Advent, and I truly feel we were spiritually enriched by starting these traditions in our home.

We wound up not having room in the car for our gifts, so on the eve of my daughter’s birthday (and our departure) my husband suggested we open them at home before leaving. I went and got the gifts, which I had already packed into the car. They were well-chilled from being outside for a few hours. So now Christmas morning was definitely not going to be about gifts, an important lesson I hope they will carry with them in case one year comes when they cannot afford to shower their own children with gifts.

The two-day trip was very difficult, especially because the birthday girl was sick with a stomach virus the first day – and on the same day she turned nine! My husband was happy to be able to see his very good friend – our best man – who graciously put us up at his home in North Carolina. That lightened his spirits for the second leg of the journey.

We had a wonderful reunion with my grandparents, uncle, and cousins. We went to Christmas Eve mass at the local church. On Christmas we had a nice early dinner with a fried turkey and boiled ham, then went swimming at the clubhouse! The next day we went to Disney World. (I never knew such crowds existed!)

The following day we went to a beach on a peninsula near Clearwater. How strange to be on a beach at Christmas in the winter Florida sun, my husband commented. It was his first time he ever went to the beach with the kids – he is always working! He and I went on a date – our first since three days before our 18-month-old was born – to see National Treasure.

On the last day, Nanna took the kids to pick organic oranges and grapefruit at her friend’s house. I could not believe how much they brought back! I squirreled them in to the car before my husband could see. I found room in the glove compartment, backseat compartments, and under all the seats.

The return trip was not any shorter than the journey there, but noone complained. It was a beautiful Christmas.

And Christmas is not over – not until those wise men come on January 6. Our tree is still up, with more life in it than years past (having been well watered by our pet sitter), and the lights outside (which we put on timers this year) will burn until then.

Pictured above is the St. Nicholas Mission Parish in Delray Beach, FL. See pictures of St. Nicholas parishes worldwide and learn more about St. Nicholas at St. Nicholas Center.