Spontaneity – Part II

I wasn’t born this spontaneous. No, I come from a long line of planners. The Hungarian-Italian side plans meals six months in advance. As for the French-German-English side – well, even a smile is something that must be thought out carefully before allowing it to show.

Remember type A and type B that was all the rage in the 1980’s? Well, I was type AA, driven and organized. I wound up marrying a type BB and we eventually rubbed off on each other until he became an AB and I became a BA.

This is how a typical interview might go if a reporter came to my house to see what the typical daily routine of a self-employed process server is like:

Q: What time do you wake up?
A: Whatever time I’m awake.

Q: What time do you eat breakfast?
A: After I read the morning paper.

Q: What time do you go to work?
A: Whenever I’m ready.

Q: What time do you eat lunch?
A: When I get hungry.

Q: What time do you eat dinner?
A: Right after I get home.

Q: And what time might that be?
A: Whenever my work is done.

Q: And what time do you go to bed?
A: When I get tired.

You can probably see how this might grate the nerves of a woman who needs to be in complete control of her day. It took me years before I finally figured out the best time to make dinner was whenever my babies and I were hungry – which I eventually decided was 5:00 – and thankfully he has no aversion to reheating his dish whenever he might roll in.

Adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom after 10 years of a rigid schedule of working and studying took some time. That seems like another lifetime now. I remember keeping detailed records of my firstborn’s feedings, naps, and diaper changes. I suppose that was my way of making sense of my day.

It was the second child that brought me full circle and changed my life completely. Having two in diapers was a juggling act that gave my personality a new rhythm. No longer did I have to compete with that younger, career-minded self I could still remember. I was a mom through and through, and that was more than enough.

No longer did I mop my floor every day – or keep the screws sorted in my garage – or file my papers as they came in – or keep checklists of my daily accomplishments. The way I see it, the ability to overlook the crumbs on the floor or the dust on the piano is a learned talent and one necessary to enjoying the divine gift of motherhood.

And by the way, when a window broke today as the result of my children’s love of baseball (which they inherited from their father) we both had to stifle our laughter in order to meter out the necessary punishment of several months of menial chores to work off the bill.

Spontaneity – Part I

“So, are the kids looking forward to going back to school?” I was asked a few times this week.

“No, not at all,” is my honest answer.

True, there was some excitement today as a letter arrived from school today. Classmates called my eldest daughter asking what homeroom teacher she was assigned to. Her dearest friend was in her class again.

My son’s little life has become one of utmost misery as he mopes through two whole pages of summer work per day. I must keep watchful vigil over him lest I find him outside playing baseball with only one section of a page complete. A broken pencil tip, a misunderstood phrase, or not being able to find the right color crayon to follow the directions are all excellent excuses to wander off.

“Why would they be looking forward to school?” responded one of my recent houseguests to me, “Summer is bliss at your house.”

Ahh, bliss is the perfect word to describe the past week. I have had the most blissful week of reading. Truth be told, if you look at the cup as half full, I was stuck home last week because the transmission finally went on my husband’s car, which had about 270,000 miles on it. He was looking for a replacement as work allowed. A few times we had to get somewhere and he managed to get home to give us a ride.

When we went to pick up the “newer” car yesterday, I thought of all the places I could go. I was definitely due for food shopping. The baby fell asleep in the back seat and had to be put in for her nap. So I decided to go home and finish reading the Anne of Green Gables series. We had eggs and blueberry pancakes for supper and the kids were delighted! (I had a terrific time shopping by myself later, after my husband had gotten home; I had almost every aisle to myself!)

This morning we woke up close to the afternoon. I looked at the newspaper and saw that it was going to be one of the last nice days before school started. One final opportunity to get to the beach. I put my eleven-year-old in charge of packing up lunches, towels, and sunscreen while I got my toddler and myself ready to go.

I have to admit that this was not the best time we have had at the beach. It was on the cool side, the water was full of seaweeds, and the kids had forgotten to pack the sunscreen. They had also conveniently forgotten to pack their little brother’s water bottle – but that came back to bite them, as he couldn’t be left parched and they had to share theirs with him. We put the baby in a hat and one of the kids’ t-shirts, which covered almost all of her skin from neck to ground, and stayed for just a little over an hour. But, just like they say about pizza, even a “bad” day at the beach is better than none.

We had a chicken for dinner and went for a walk afterwards. This is the kind of spontaneous life we live during vacations. Soon we will be marching to the rhythm of the school schedule, and that is okay too. But these days are ours, to do – or not do – with them whatever we like. What a wonderful feeling!

Painting by V. Ovchinnikov, "Girl and waves", 1958.